User:Orion Blastar/Ecce Homo/

Ecce Homo is a 19th century Spanish fresco painting of Jesus Christ by Elías García Martínez. In 2012 an anonymous 80 year old woman decided it needed some improvement after noticing water dripping on it and remade the painting. It was later redubbed Ecce Mono.

History

In the 19th century Elías García Martínez painted a wonderful painting titled Ecce Homo, or behold the man. It was a detailed and beautiful painting that glorifies the image of Jesus Christ.It is located in the Sanctuary of Mercy church of Borja, Zaragoza is a fresco (mural painting) by Spanish painter Elías García Martínez depicting Jesus crowned with thorns.

The original on the right and the new improved version on the left.

In August 2012 some anonymous old 80 year old woman decided to restore the panting. She noticed water dripping on the oil painting, and decided to just chip away the paint and then put in some sort of Internet Meme version of Jesus giving a duck-face and looking like a monkey. It was redubbed Ecce Mono or behold the monkey.

Then of course all Hell broke loose on Earth and the Internet over it. Wars and Holy Wars were waged, Theists vs. Atheist vs. Agnostics vs. Art Critics vs. Gay Baby Whales that had nothing to do with it but got blamed anyway. It was so bad that a WWE Wrestling Match broke out, and then from that a US Republican Delegation Group Meeting broke out from the wrestling match and then from that Hurricane Katrina came back to break up the Republican Delegation Group Meeting. Then Jesus wept "Ah me, not this stuff again!" while Satan laughed as nobody dared mess with paintings of him.

Copies of the new painting were spread far and wide all over the Internet as people laughed and chuckled over it. People used it as their profile pictures and then submitted it to all sorts of web sites for image requests and submissions. We almost didn't cover it here on Uncyclopedia, but Wikipedia decided to delete it as being non-notable as they are deleting all articles about Jesus Christ and paintings in yet another purge citing The Holy Bible as a "Self Published Work" that makes Jesus Christ a non-notable person.

Critics

Naturally the Christians were upset, it made fun of Jesus Christ and ruined a famous priceless painting of him. The name of this woman was protected but she is a famous Internet Meme artist from 9GAG, Reddit, Thumblr, Deviant Art, 4Chan, and iFunny. She hangs out in /r/atheism at Reddit and posts screen captures of conversations she has with Christians on Facebook and other places and then makes Rage Comics and Dolan Comics for fun. We won't post her user ID nor her Twitter and Facebook handles out of privacy, but she has a very popular following and is working on her new book full of Christianity paintings turned into Internet Memes that is untitled.

What one art critic claimed the painting looked like.

Non-Christian and Atheist critics find it great, best painting of Jesus by an atheist painter yet. They cannot wait for her book to be published to buy it in major book stores and Internet book stores. "It looks like that one photo of George W. Bush." says one critic. "It shows how Jesus evolved from a monkey, proving evolution!" says another critic. Some claim she should have just put on a "Big Mac" over the head of Jesus and made it an advertisement for McDonald's.

"It is just wrong!" claimed one art critic, "It got changed from Fresco to Primitivism! It looks like a child painted it, a three year old child!" she went on to rant and rave for a few days over it. "This, this is nothing more than vandalism! A mockery of what the original painting tried to express!"

"I can paint one better out of my arse!" claimed one man, "I've seen and painted better."

"This is nothing more than poorly painted Internet Fool Meme!" claimed one woman, "It should be shunned as bad art."

Fallout

It was such a mockery that it brought back The Crusades and Inquisition by Spain. Ordering that this woman be captured and tortured and made to confess her sins against God. "Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!" spoke Cardinal Richelieu, "Put her in the comfy chair!" he ordered to Cardinal Spike. But she got away due to the fact that Spain was deep in debt and then sued by the BBC and Monty Python for stealing their materials.

In the Muslim world there were riots and protests, until they discovered it was Jesus and not Muhammad that was being made fun of and painted in a picture. Even if they see Jesus as a Prophet, it is a really bad painting of him and more like a monkey and couldn't possibly be the Prophet Jesus at all. They went back to looking for Salamin Rushdie and those Danish Newspaper Cartoonists instead.