User:Omasz/Donald Tusk

“I want to be your sweet Janusz Palikot”

~ Oscar Wilde on Donald Tusk

Click to see Tusk alive and kicking

Donald Tusk - Poland's perfect half-president, wonderful 42%-prime minister and amazing 79% of a puppet. Made of best plastic and condom rubber for elasticity. Donald Tusk is a constant reason of despair of most European goverments - how come they haven't created such a role-model themselves?!

Abilities

Donald Tusk could do literally everything. He would be the best Polish ballerina or the most skillful journalist. If he only had time. Meanwhile he is being used as an odd football player for TVN News programmes and - in spare time - he borrows money.

Childhood

Donald Tusk was hand-made, at the age of his 30-ies, by the best PR specialists and foreign intelligence agents. Refurbished on April 10th 2010 at Russian aircraft plants in Samara to serve a new function. Has never failed since then.

Recently

• the 477th female TV journalist has been reported to fall in love with Donald Tusk. This (together with 45 male journalists in love) makes up a bunch being able to promote the prime-minister for his next office. Whichever he chooses.

• Vladimir Putin announced last week he would prefer the famous Polish beer Tyskie to be called "Tuskie". He did not explain why. The beer producer obliged instantly. The new labels are to be stuck on bottles next Wednesday.