User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia/Ventura County

Opossumopedia:Ventura County

An unfortunate minion enters Ojai (credit to DaniPine3)

Ventura County is where OPOSSUM was born and where he currently resides. In most of the county it seldom snows, and people freak out when the temperatures drop below 40 degrees. As a Ventura resident, OPOSSUM does not think highly of Los Angeles County to the southeast. He hopes that Ventura County is closer connected with Santa Barbara County than LA County.

Notable towns

Welcome to our irrelevant heap of hills, mountains, oak and sycamore woods, shrubland, beaches, cold water, strawberry farms, and perpetually mild weather. We have:

• Ventucky, a 50's-60's-esque beach town, but also a combination of all locations below into one.
• Oxnard, or Los Angeles Junior. Avoid at all costs. Salty about Ventura being where the county's government center resides despite Ventura being smaller than Oxnard, Camarillo or Thousand Oaks.
• Ojai, home of potheads, old people, tree-huggers, hippies, rednecks, you name it. Oregon's long-lost, quirky cousin several hundred miles to the south.
• Casitas Springs, Oak View, Villanova, Matilija: places that think they're seperate from Ojai.
• Camarillo, the slightly more tolerable version of Oxnard. Has a giant fucking golf course that is essentially the town's main attraction.
• Fillmore, the car capital of nowhere.
• Santa Paula, stuck in the 1880's, full of countryside farms and shit. They even have a steam train.
• Thousand Oaks, yet another home for old fellows, and a place of refuge from the wildfire of 2017-2018.
• Solimar, Mussel Shoals, Sea-Cliff, a few shitty beach towns barely larger than a football field.
• Santa Barbara, not in the same county, but it might as well be.
• The Northern Channel Islands, where people use fucking motorboats to get around. Isn't that cool?

This article is a stub. Much like its author's sexual organ, it is nice and funny, but rather short. You can help Uncyclopedia by making it grow.