User:Necropaxx/Postcard

Hello from awe-inspiring Africa!

Hi, Mom!
Well, I've been in the Dark Continent for about a week now, and I saw this nice postcard in the gift shop of the hotel I'm staying in, so I'd thought I'd send it to you with my love. Let me tell you about my experience in Africa. It's filled with wild moments! I got off the plane in a place called Kenya, and took a taxi (the country owns about five) to the hotel. Even the ride to the hotel was exciting! The car could barely travel the road, it was so full of street vendors, all hawking their tawdry items. One especially persistent fellow, after seeing I was a tourist, ran alongside the cab imploring me to buy his goods. He even jumped in front of the taxi, and I'm sorry to say the driver had to run him over, poor man. After that, the rest of the hawkers gave the driver some more room to work with.

I am staying at the Kenyan Hotel for Stupid American Tourists which is located in the city (if it can be called that) of Nairobi. When I first checked in and got settled, I gathered my safari gear and took another cab to the safari house, which is right next to the border of the Serengeti. Let me tell you, mom, this is nothing like the brochure.

Aloha from the big island!

喂 from the Forbidden City!

Greetings from the Green Zone!

Howdy from Darwin, Minnesota!

Salutations from the Redwood Forest!