User:MrN9000/Sandbox1/Tester

I know what I'm talking about, and you don't so shut up and listen.

“The way I see it everyone is entitled to my opinion”

~ The Author

Firstly, stop masturbating. Masturbation might seem like a great idea right now, but in the end you are screwing yourself. Unless you are in the very unlikely position of being a hot chick who masturbates too much, in which case call me.

That aside, forget about everything which you consider to be true, and I will tell you how everything works...

Politics

There are two political systems in the world, and everything else is some kinda half arse version of both.

Capitalism/Dictatorships/Religious fundamentalism

All three obviously being the same thing. Over time, people with stuff get more stuff, and people with less get less. We are getting away with it at the moment because improvements in technology provide newer and better versions of the Playstation making everyone believe that they are getting a better deal than they used to. Relative to people with more, they are actually doing worse today than they were yesterday. In the end all the stuff will end up in the hands of one person, and everyone else will be really pissed off.

Communism

The obvious beauty of a system which is totally fair, and provides everyone with what they need has appealed to generations of stoned students ever since Jesus first suggested we stop fucking each other over all the time. The system requires the removal of centralised government. Great idea, shame it does not work. If everyone has got what they need, no one bothers to get out of bed, and eventually it becomes impossible to find a local Chinese takeaway who will deliver. People need to be driven. At first to the takeaway, but later society realises that actually most people need a reason to bother doing a days work. You can force them, but then that's a dictatorship ain't it.

So

Most of the world is coming to realise that what we need is a mixture of both. We have to take money from rich people and give it to the poor otherwise they will eat them.

Until we all get replicators which can actually produce genuinely authentic tasting Chinese food we are going to have to keep going to work.

Anyone who wants the power enough to go through all the pain of becoming a politician is obviously not fit for government. Unfortunately, someone has to do it, so we are stuck with them.

If you can't be bothered to do anything other than sit on your sofa shouting at the TV then shut the hell up you lazy asshole and get on with it. If there was a better system for running the planet, we would have done it years ago.

Religion

Be sensible here now.

Atheism

Atheism is a religious view based on faith in the fact that man will one day understand everything.

Just because thousands of years of mankind's history has been corrupted by people using the name of God to steal their neighbours stuff does not make all religion necessary bollocks. It just might be. Current scientific theories have some rather significant holes in their understanding of well just about everything. Few sensibly educated people doubt that Darwin was right about Evolution in general, but he never answered questions such as how it actually all started and who created everything. If we knew the answers to the everything we would know how to make replicators, and no one would care about it all anyway.

Believing that science will eventually provide all the answers to the questions which we can't answer shows... Well, a lot of "faith".

Organised Religion

Because the chances are that your particular religion if right and everyone else is wrong right? No seriously. You are going to look rather silly if you spend.

Sexuality

If you believe in God, you must consider him a right wanker for making you want to wank all the time when you're not allowed to.

If you are an atheist

If you believe that people are born gay or straight then being homophobic is pointless. Gay people can not sexuality is something which you are born with, it's ridiculous to believe

If you believe that you choose your sexuality and want to protect those around from being influenced in a way which might turn them gay it is likely that you personally feel vulnerable to this.

Pants

He knows the importance of pants his pants. Do you?

Much as been said about the importance of the towel. Now I know a lot of this makes sense, where is a man if he does not know where his towel is? Agreed. Towels have a multitude of uses, but really would you not rather have your pants? I would suggest to you that it's possible to use your pants as a towel, but attempting to do the reverse is likely to yield less than adequate results. Trust me.

It is established custom that Pants may be worn on the head as a symbol of power, a sentiment the feminists understood during the Battle of the Sexes and made it their quest to redefine the world order regarding exactly who wears the pants.