User:Mr-ex777/A pile of dog turd/5
- This article is about the Soviet political party. For the political ideology, see Communism.
The COMMUNIST COMMUNISM COMMUNITY PARTY!!! (always in capitals) is a political party and movement inspired by the writings of Linus Torvalds. The CCCP adopts teachings from Soviet principles, and is the largest and laziest neo-communist movement in the world. Consequently, the CCCP is often mocked by bourgeois Stallman-sympathizers for the fact that CCCP followers speak with permanent caps lock, associate with penguins, and waste their lives away, rather than revolting against the capitalist swines.
The Party Begins[edit | edit source]
The COMMUNIST COMMUNISM COMMUNITY PARTY!!! is based on the doctrine of the COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!!!, a book written by proliferous and famous political scientist, Linus Marx Torvalds, one day in 1991, he was running Windows BC, he was downloading images of women without wigs on (the pr0n of the time), when the bank told him he owed various people up to $4450 (a shit load of money of the time). He realized that he had over 13,000,000 viruses and spywares (a shit load of h4x0r to have on your computer at the time), even before they were invented, so he decided to buy a new computer, but realized that there was only two operating systems, Windows BC and Mac OS SEX, after being sick of windows, he thought that buying a Mac would do nicely, but the price was $666.66, (a shit loa- ok you get the picture), so Linus decided that the capitalist system of having to buy an OS and software for it is sux0r, he decided to create his own OS, after studying Reversish at the Smirnoff University, he developed a new OS, which he wanted to call SUPER DUPER HAPPY FUN RIDE WITH REVERSI 3000!!!, but due to trademark infringement, he reverted to the more simplistic LINUX BUILD 11b.655.34.2356.TTZ-UNIX.
Though celebrated by the masses, Torvalds was slandered by Richard Stallman, who thought the revolution would only be televised if recursive acronyms were used to confuse capitalists. The popularity of LINUX BUILD 11b.655.34.2356.TTZ-UNIX only angered Stallman more, leading to the release of the controversial GPL v.3 manifesto. Though legally unenforceable, GPL v.3 proclaimed that all penguins were now banned from the Stallman Communist Friends Club.
LINUX BUILD 11b.655.34.2356.TTZ-UNIX and it's influence[edit | edit source]
see Linux for more
Linus was selling copies of LINUX BUILD 11b.655.34.2356.TTZ-UNIX (with built in Russian reversal algorithms for 'a chair with 5 teddy bears', but then to adhere to Soviet protocol, he sold it for 'free' (yes I know it's a strange word to you isn't it you capitalist scum...). After letting people take the source code and make their own distributions (which went up to 50,000 different LINUXES, a shit loa-e.t.c.) he wrote a new ideal for the running of the interweb, the COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!!, which was first released in pdf format.
COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!!![edit | edit source]
The COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!!! (also always in caps) projected the idea that there should be no net ruled by everything-fucking-killing Steve Ballmer and 'stop using DOS? are you crazy?' Bill Gates, but by everyone, the actual users, where software is free and edited and contributed by everyone, the book was heavily criticised by George Bush for
not invloving money and projectng a society that is ha-hap-, how do you read this word dagnabbit, I ain't ever heard of hap-pin-ess, that must mean it's a terrorist, bomb him boys ehehehehehe
This book grew in popularity amongst the 1337 and they decided to adopt this as their new constitution, at the 1337-con, after much blood-spill and crazy ninjas with spinning knife hats and sattelite navigated jet powered moneys (don't ask), it was decided the new party was to be called the COMMUNIST COMMUNISM COMMUNITY PARTY!!! (copyright 2000), some other candidates were:
- 1337 5933KERS COMMUNITY!!!
- WE ARE NOT SCIENTISTS!!!
- THE PART-AY!!!
- SOVIET SHINDIG!!!
- YOU!!!
- COBAIN IS DEAD!!!
- MY THROAT HURTS!!!
- I CANT SHOUT ANYMORE SERIOUSLY!!!
- AAAAAaaaaaaaa___...