User:Lyrithya/HowTo:Smuggle a dead rat into a clean room

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There are many reasons why one might attempt to smuggle a rat into a clean room, varying from something as innocent as a practical joke, startling a co-worker or peer, but without touching anything, to some sort of psychological experiment as to how people react to something so unclean in a clean environment, to outright sabotage of competitors' research, manufacturing or testing in an attempt to discredit and/or put them out of a few million/billion dollars.

It is important to establish what your reason actually is before doing anything concrete, and to ensure at every step that this is, indeed, what you are intending. How you proceed will vary considerably with what you actually intend to do with the rat. If, for instance the extreme example: you decide after procuring a dead rat that you actually wanted the rat to be alive, you may encounter a slight snag. Even in general, however, planning is paramount, for the same reasons such effort is put in to keep the clean rooms clean in the first place - they are rather fragile environments. Should you get caught or even make a mess, if it is the place where you work, you may find your job to also be quite fragile. If, indeed, you are attempting to sabotage another's work, you may find a whole lot more to prove surprisingly fragile.

Appropriating a Rat[edit | edit source]

Remember, Rats are not cute, they are dangerous, disease spreading harbingers of death.

Rats come in a large variety of shapes and sizes, with distinct styles that are capable of meeting any of your rat-related needs. Traditionally a dirty brown sort of colour or black, many people are surprised to discover that they are also available in other hues; occasionally including white, a useful colour when attempting to blend into an environment such as a clean room. Alive, rats breed very quickly, causing damage to property and fostering disease. They often live near or even with human populations, which should in theory provide people with ready access to rats, but they are by nature a shy, retiring creature, preferring to stay in the shadows. Their habitat will include places such as underground sewer systems, effluent treatment centres, leading make-up manufacturing test laboratories and omniscience state torture locations.

Arguably the most straight-forward method of appropriating a rat is to simply catch one "in the wild". This has the advantage in which it can either be achieved my yourself, without the hassle of dealing with any others who might wonder just what you want a rat for, but it is by far preferable to hire a trained professional "rat catcher". Rat-catching is an artform that takes a number of years to learn and master all of the different and best methods of catching rats. Great interest should be taken in watching their ways and habits. Although rat catchers are traditionally sought out to deal with infestations, many experts have come to the conclusion that there is no sure way of completely exterminating the rodents, especially in larger population centres.

Methodologies employed may include the use of steel traps, ferreting and the use of specially trained dogs trained to sniff out and catch rats. Some individuals claim to be able to utilise magical musical instruments in an effort to lure rats but this remains a heavily disputed claim.

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