User:JunkFactory/Zimbabwe, Mozambique to amalgamate
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 November 2010
GORONGOZA, South Africa -- Kubatana kwevanhu veMozambiki neZimbabwe...What used to be a song is now turning to a reality as word has been released that the longtime political allies Zimbabwe and Mozambique will overlook any differences they may have and unite to form ZIMOZA.This will be the first time that two African countries have voluntarily amalgamated. The move which is set to mutually benefit the two struggling economies has been greatly welcomed by both nations' citizens. Mozambicans who cannot wait to run on tarred Zimbabwean roads expressed tremendous joy on hearing the news that maybe at this moment about a quarter of the population is already on its way to Harare. Zimbabweans on the other hand aren't thinking of anything else other than to go to the beaches for the first time. The only people who probably may not be crazy about the idea are the two ambassadors who apparently have lost their purpose ha ha ha. 'The first thing I'll do is run on the road barefooted, and then I'll learn English', said one Dos Santos who couldn't stop smiling.' We all have dreams and you know what, sometimes they come true, I'm going to eat fish for as long as I want' , said a Zimbabwean Jeremi ( he asked us not to show his name , tough luck!!!)
Aside from the non-relevant opinions of the public let's get down to facts;
-Harare will be the capital city and only Zimbabweans will be allowed there. -A port city will be constructed on the shoreline of Mozambique, this will in time be the second capital of ZIMOZA. -The internationally acclaimed language of Portuguese will be the official language (Suck on it Britain bitch) -The South African Rand will be the local currency as both fractions have failed currencies. -The death rate of ZIMOZA will be triple to that of the separate parties (As more diseases will come into play).It is expected to be the highest the world has ever seen. -Some guy named Sau will be the commander in chief as the ancien presidents couldn't come to terms as to who would lead Africa's most populous and underequipped army. -No western ship will be able to pass through Zimoza's territorial waters. (Zimoza's pirates will see to that)
Other developments will be out as soon as the act is signed, which will be next wee
