User:JomTung/Mesolithic
Mesolithic :(Mess? O... Lickit!) adj. is a word that describes a time period invented by Some Douchebag in order to show others that he has a penchant for creating useless words. The Mesolithic Time period is a fancy name for being a middle aged stoner. For example; "Tommy Chong has been inside of the Mesolithic Time Period since birth." Although most realize that this is simply not a problem and is usually an easy way to take the stress out of life without all those risky STD's that prostitutes come with, there is simply not enough being done to stop the older age groups from not becoming anything of importance while being content with their mediocrity. Commonly known as being a Hippie, this time period is used to ignore the real world and let life fly right by with a stupid grin on one's face. Most people tend to think this apathetic behavior is evidence of a larger problem, but recent studies funded by most of the snack industry clearly refutes this speculation. Further evidence of existing during a Mesolithic period can be evidenced by the need to hide your 'stash'(evidence) from kids, the wife, nosy neighbor, Mexicans, Mexicants, Paleolithic posers, Prof. Arthur J. Smokesmyweed, or any of their cousins/relatives/pets/gardeners.
History[edit | edit source]
The term Mesolithic was first introduced by John Luvcock in his short essay on why he needs to build a strawberry farm somewhere near the Southwestern United States in 1888 titled "Sweet Berry Pies for Everyone". As directly quoted from his essay, "I need to find some Mesolithic Mexicans and introduce them to this plant that makes them feel good about nothing. Afterward I can pay them pennies to pick sweet strawberries and they will be, like totally stoked to get paid for eating strawberries!" After Mr. Luvock wrote the essay the entire academic community of Humboldt took up the mantra and started publishing the word for all sorts of random reasons. Before the rest of the world realized that Mesolithic was an inside joke, it had already caught on like a wildfire over the gasoline soaked, slightly balding heads of professors who happen to be easy targets for ridicule since they have advanced degrees and still cannot help but use silly words that make absolutely no sense since they are not even words. Of the scientific articles submitted containing the obscure reference to the Stone Age, few were published. However, a noteworthy history thesis was eventually published about the Stone Age in which the author repeatedly referred to some guy interviewed in a museum who looks "Mesolithic". Also, a charming paper about muskrats was submitted to the English department and was accepted. The anthropology department was rumored to have studied the effects of a neighboring Mesolithic culture to the surrounding campus and town of Humboldt, but all students who engaged in the research project were either never heard from again or became indentured servants to the project's leader, Dr. A. J. Smokesmyweed.
Major Events[edit | edit source]
One of the most memorable occurrences during the Mesolithic Time Period happens when the happening happened. Afterward there was some confusion about what happened, but the general consensus is that whatever happened, it wasn't much since no one could remember what happened. Then the consensus went to the doughnut shop on the corner for as much enriched carbohydrates as they could eat in one sitting. A part of the consensus chose instead to take a shower while the other part of the consensus was eating some delicious doughnuts! Take THAT you shower whore!
First Era[edit | edit source]
Another major event was when that one guy was like "Whoa dude look at that chick's totally awesome tits!" This was followed by a number of heads turning and looking directly at the local fatty with a stupid grin. This was then followed by that one guy laughing at everyone and calling them "chubby chasers".
Second Era[edit | edit source]
After few rounds of cloudy philosophy there is an eventual magnetic attraction towards any consumable substance including but not limited to dessert, more dessert, strawberries, dessert with strawberries, and ,of course, your pet if living in Asia.