User:Iwillkillyou333/The Covenant Empire
The Covenant is a government of multiple alien races featured in the kick ass video game series Halo and serve as the main antagonist of the series.
History[edit | edit source]
After these guys called San shyuum(or something equally stupid) discovered a dreadnaught, which is basically an alien brothel, on their home planet, San Boomboom, They went into space to find more "artifacts", aka beer, crack, and kittens. Then they found these guys called Sangheili, a warlike race of walking turtles. They fought over the "artifacts" on their home planet of Sangigolos, then eventually formed a pact that they for some reason called the Covenant. Eventually, they grafted more aliens into their Covenant. First came the Lekgolo, giant tapeworms that can form into whatever they want. Whatever they want. No matter how gay it is.
Next came the Jackals, giant pirate parrots who were hired as 'entertainers', if ya know what i mean. After that there was the tiny sex worker speices called Grunts. Small, stupid, and periodically suicidal, they do nothing but bitch and whine and whine and bitch. Finally, the Brutes. they are an alien race of giant horny cows with hammers, and they like to smash stuff. And bone stuff. The Hunters are basically just angry spaghetti men constantly on their periods
Earth[edit | edit source]
Eventually, the pilots of all the covenant ships got so drunk that they all flew straight towards Earth, where we are for those stupid people out there. Humans attacked because they wanted their stash of crack and beer, and war ensued.
The war[edit | edit source]
It was long. The humans were tired of fighting the Covies for their stash, so they made these genetically altered humans called spartans. They took six year olds, pumped radioactive shit into their bloodstream, and gave them armor and weapons. The six year olds decimated the Covie forces after they were promised Thomas the Tank Engine toys.