User:IFYMB!/Man in Rhode Island gives twins unusual names
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
21 April 2013
CENTRAL FALLS, Rhode Island -- Harry Tranmere of Rhode Island has named his made headlines after naming his twins, born on the 18 April, #condomfail and #daddyscockrocks.
Tranmere's wife Julia, 36, from Kentucky, said that the names had been chosen because the pair had met two years before via Twitter. "It was so strange, he was following me, so I took a look at his profile picture. It was love at first sight."
Unfortunately, Harry's picture was of Harry Potter star Tom Felton, which led to some disappointment on Julia's part at first. Eventually, she tells us, she "got over it," and the pair were soon having vaginal intercourse.
Harry said, "Meeting Julia was like, the best thing that's ever happened to me, and it's all down to Twitter. Starting both kids' names with a hashtag just seemed like the right thing to do, as a way of saying #thanks." Asked if Julia liked the names, Harry repiled, "Of course she did, Julia choose the second name herself."
However, Julia's sister Samantha, a local school teacher who may one day call out her nephews' names in class, is not so impressed. "Those are the most dreadful, horrible and vulgar names I have ever heard in my entire life," said the 32-year-old spinster. "Why couldn't they have normal names like, John or Jack or Eve or Kate?"
"Not only will they make the kids socially awkward, but the names are untrue, especially the second one."