User:Hwachongster/Counter Strike Source
“In Bombsite B, the Terrorists bomb you!”
Counter Strike Source (CSS), is a game created by Valve to cheat the money of poor aimless 12 year old kids. Ever since it began to become popular thanks to billions of dollars spent in advertising, Terrorists (affectionately called T(s)) and Counter-Terrorists (not so affectionately called CT(s)) began to dominate their maps.
Counter Strike Text Based Version[edit | edit source]
Before the release of the much awaited CSS, the only version of Counter Strike available to the general public was the Text Based Version (CS 1.6). For some unknown reasons experts still can't fanthom till this date, CS 1.6 was extremely popular in areas like Antarctica, School and Jail. However, some self-proclaimed experts (you know who) thinks that people in those areas are so bored to the point of booting MS-DOS instead of Windows 95 and play CS 1.6 on that computer.
Gameplay[edit | edit source]
CSS retains the good ole' CS 1.6 elements where there is a T and a CT trying to kill each other. Shooting while moving makes you make like a noob since your bullets all go haywire and those programmers over at Valve don't really bother to make the actual place where the bullet will hit correspond with the crosshair on your screen.
Multiplayer[edit | edit source]
Technically, CSS is a 100% pure multiplayer game (you must play with real people). However, some retarded programmers of the game accidentally added in a what they call a 'Bot' feature, so you can play against bots, with bots, eliminating the need for actual, breathing bodies. When the rare chance comes when somebody do join a multiplayer game, they resort to despicable methods of winning such as hacking, camping and rescuing hostages or destroying mysterious crates with a blinking object that always use the same password (allowing the CT to easily stop it, although they might as well take it away, saving them all the trouble of guessing a password).
Weapons[edit | edit source]
Weapons in CSS are generally abnormally ineffective, since it almost always requires more than one shot to kill someone with a M4A1, while the soul of the poor body would be in Heaven when they get hit the first time in real life. The recoil of the weapons is also abnormally high, making 'spraying' extremely ineffective. CTs also have the rare privilege to purchase a "Tatical Shield" which would, in theory, protect them from all sort of bullets, except flying ones.
Response[edit | edit source]
According to a recent survey, 99.99% found CSS "retarded" while 4% said they actually played it more then once. Valve has dismissed the results of the survey as "unrealistic, biased and unscientific" which, according to research, is a common excuse for surveys. Valve has managed to ring in a profit of fifty cents, thanks to the rise of Call of Duty and Halo Wars.