User:Gneomi/sandbox2

“Duh, like I need to do anything to stand out!”

~ High school girls on Standing out in class

Class. The adolescent's last frontier. A boiling pot of public pressure, where coolness clashes with chanceless, and non-conformity is just as much the norm as conformity is. Tens of thousands of teens go to school every day, trying desperately to be an individual without falling too much out of line. This guide is not for them. This guide is for the radical, the hard-liners who do not care about social norms, hygiene, public safety or even their own life. I can see your eyebrows rising. You clearly don't fit into that category. Don't be ashamed. It matters not. Read on, and open your mouthhole in admiration of these brave souls.

Step 1: Select your type

Now that we have passed the first barrier, we must now determine your type. Type is everything: nothing stands out more than a person who completely breaks the bonds with his or her former self. This theory makes use of the divine gift of stereotypes. If one does not fall in any of these categories, this person is smart, or does not live in America. Oh, sorry. I'm being redundant.

Females:

• Nudity:

No matter what style, be it slutty or completely dyke, no girl will stand out more than when dressed nature's way. She will either be the center of all the men's attention and all the women's envy, or permanently scar the eyelids of the public with her poor visual values. But with today's clothing styles, a woman is essentially naked, since you can see her boobs and underwear. GODDAMN IT, I'M BEING REDUNDANT AGAIN.

Males:

• The Nerd/Dork/Yu-Gi-Oh fan:

A typical cowardly target of bullying, who could care less about his image and fashion sense, yet more about his Magic: The Gathering decks and Star Trek: Voyager DVDs. He can begin by standing up for himself, namely beating the living hell out of a few bullies using boxing knuckles and bare teeth. Next, he should wear a combination of a pimp get-up and a '70s disco suit, with clashing colors and pieces cut out around the private parts. Jesus, when will the redundancy END?!

Due to the fact that your classmates know of your intellect; jump up, do the Fascist/Nazi salute, and repeat this German phrase: Haltmachen greifend sich in das name die gott!! Then proceed by doing the Goose Step and threaten the Jews (especially if your teacher's a Jew).

• The Jock/Meathead/Patrick Swayze:

A no-brainer sportsman who enjoys the blissful heavens of narrow mindedness more then any other. He should put up some weight, mainly by starting a diet of Twinkies and Marses, and take a genuine interest in the first graders in order to expand his horizons.

• The Stoner/Hippie/Asswipe:

A dude who fails at life, but has some great stories. He should put on the attitude of grumpy senior citizen while ditching his skateboard for a fax machine and occupying himself solely with stock exchanges and Twinkies.

• The Homeboy/Homefry/Dickhead:

An undersexed wigga/oversexed nigga who dreams of cash and despises white culture. He should dress up in business suit, advertise generosity and "not bussin' a cap in no asses!" Also, one must utter the phrase: "The White Man is definitely NOT a devil, you guys!"

If you could see my eyes, you would see the pain and sorrow i have suffered.

*The Emo/Goth/Fag:

Prone to negative feelings, lack of sex, and auto-mutilation. Needs to dress in something besides a corset (male and female), an Anti-Flag/Hawthorne Heights/Nightmare Before Christmas t-shirt. Also, must show scars for all to see and say "My life isn't SO bad."

Step 2: Creating your new image

So u know who you are now. Whatever one you may have picked one thing is certain. You fail at life. Everyone is ashamed of you. But all is not lost. If you follow these few steps and you will be transformed into a more normal person. And this near impossible task can be done in just one day!1!!1!!1!1!!

Erase all memory of your old ways Like in the film were that guy (his name isn't important) decides his life is shit (just like you have done) and makes a new look. However, is plan is foiled is soe shit plot hole and he decides you are who you are. Lets get real. This is the real world and you want to change. So here is a list of treasures from your old life that must be burned!

• Depressing T-shirts (your normal now, remember?)
• World of Warcraft
• Weird Al Yankovich cd's
• Your Spider Man costume with 6-pac
• Books on how to build model areoplanes (you still haven't finished it)
• ALL depressing shit
• ALL Star Trek shit

Pick on weaker peeps Now this is a tough one. If you get this wrong their is no point of doing the above step. Think of your old self. You were "wet willied" and "dirty sanchezed" by your fellow rats all attempting to rat their way up the rat ladder and challenge the head rat and his rat girl to a rat-off to in a last rat standing battle of rattiness to become the overlord of the rat and have rat-minions! Its all about rats.