User:Galtifyme/Battle of Google
| Battle of Google | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Conflict: The Great Internet War | |
| Date: 23 June 2006 til' 26 June 2006 (estimated) | |
| Place: Google homepage | |
| Outcome: Total Genocide, Google victory. | |
| Combatants | |
| Yahoo | |
| Commanders | |
| {{{commander1}}} | {{{commander2}}} |
| Strength | |
| A 1 with 100 zeros after it | Yellow cans full of liquid awesome |
| Casualties | |
| A lot. | More |
The Battle Of Google was one of the bloodest battles ever fought on the internet. With a lot of deaths on the side of Google and more on the side of Yahoo, there was a lot of dead people, and everyone knows that dead people = blood.
Summary of THE BATTLE[edit | edit source]
The battle lasted exactly four hours, five days, three minutes, one month, and two years. Was that right? No one cares, the point is that it was really long, though still not as long as long cat. It started with the leader of the Yahoos stepped on the leader of the Googs' monkey's brother's sister's uncle's cousin's roomate's cat's tail and then said "Oops!" and walked away. The leader of all of Google was rightly pissed off, and simply wanted an apology, but the leader of Yahoo would not have it out of some stupid moral code that he had because he's cool like that.
The battle[edit | edit source]
Pissed off, the leader of Google marched his ever growing army over to Yahoo to basically kill and stuff like that. They didn't have any kind of plan, they didn't even know why they were attacking, they just know that if they didn't they'd be thrown in a dress and stoned, with rocks not weed, in public.
A sad day for the Internet[edit | edit source]
Everyone on the Internet was shocked at the temerity of this conflict. Yahoo lost millions of users as a result. Google, on the other hand, only lost 2 users, which didn't seem too big of a deal to King Google. But King Google didn't know that these two users were the infamous Adolf Hitler and Kim Jong ll who would later move on to issue a rebellion to over throw the Googlian Dynasty. (Adolf Hitler would then travel back in time to the 1930s and try to destroy google in the past, he then realised that he had went too far back but decided to try and take advantage of the situation and plan for world domination.) This event later became know as the Violent Google Rebellion, which caused thousands deaths. Upon the discussion of this battle, Great Internet Leaders disagreed on what was to be done to put down the rebellion. These elements lead to great unrest and political divisions between the leaders which in turn lead to the Great Internet War.
Long-term effects of the battle[edit | edit source]
Despite ignorant popular assumption, this wasn't the unique battle from the Great Internet War, although it contributed to the ever-growing problems sparked by King Google and Lord Yahoo. The battles resulting from the Battle of Google and the Violent Google Rebellion became worse and worse, each further sparking rebellions across the U R Pee'in Nation. Many Internet Nations joined to fight in these conflicts. This era of war, rebellion, revenge, and strife is known as the Internet Dark Ages.
The postwar battles were much worse. No one could stop this evil juggernaut of misery and death.