User:Flashy/Ham

Introduction

Ham originated from Ham Chess, which is a game created by Thomas Edison. He created this game because he is bored after inventing dark. The first person he played this game with is Albert Einstein( who travelled in time using his infamous time machine)

A picture of the ancient Ham Chess

Thomas Edison owned Albert Einstein in a match with only 3 moves, proving himself cleverer than Albert Einstein. It was known that Albert Einstein cried over this little game and even tried to commit suicide. Fortunately, he failed because he was transported back in time due to an error in his Time Machine.

Rules of Ham Chess

General Rules

Ham Chess is a MMORPG game and had a similar gameplay as Maple Story. It is also suspected that Maple Story copied the idea from Ham Chess. At the start, you begin as a beginner and tries to level up to level 10 when you can do several jobs such as warrior ,magician, thief and archer. To level up, you need to kill the opponent's monster such as snail and orange mushroom. Also, in the game, there is a thing called scroll which is used to power up your weapon. However, this feature was removed from the game because Thomas Edison find out that there was a bug in it, which causes people's account to be banned randomly when scrolls are used. Wizet supposedly fixed the bug and put the same whole game up, claiming that this game was created by them.

Checkmating

Method 1

To checkmate, one has to kill the boss summon by his/her opponent. This is probably the hardest part of the game as bosses like Zakum and Horntail can heal themselves. They also do enormous damage which normally kills any player in 1 blow. Also, nobody has been able to break the record set by Thomas Edison, who killed Horntail in 2 turns. The match he did that was also the match he played with Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein, as mentioned, cried over this game because he lost.

A picture of Einstein crying when he lost the game

Method 2

There is also another way to checkmate your opponent. However, using this way to checkmate your opponent often requires patience. Thomas Edison set the rule that if the defender(the one that summon monsters) summoned a boss, and the attacker stared at the boss for 20 hours without doing anything else, the attacker is considered the winner.

Reception

Gamespot rated this game 10.2 because of the attracting gameplay. Also, it was also due to it was the first MMORPG game created. Over 12 billion people over the world have played this game. Also, due to the hype, 328 rabbits were killed when people rushed to buy Ham Chess. This is also the most probable cause of the extinction of dinosaur as 3748939 dinosaur were found dead after this incident. Therefore, the international court has banned this game forever. People found having the Ham Chess were to be fined US$700000000 or to eat 500 Ham Chess. Victims said that the taste of Ham Chess is sour, with mild bitterness in it.

Transformation of Ham Chess to Ham

After centuries, humans no longer dislike the taste of ham. This is due to mutation of ham. Many scientists had proved that hams were once dinosaur eggs with tomato sauce on it and therefore, is able to mutate faster than the speed of light.( The reason as though why it can mutate faster than the speed of light when it is dinosaur egg + tomato sauce is till now, unknowned.) Now, the taste of Strawberry flavoured Ham is spicy and sour. The taste of the originally flavoured Ham is mild bitter and sweet.

Other meanings of Ham

Ham is also used in occasions by people to express anger and other emotions.

Ham you!

Shut the Ham up!

What the Ham!

Who the Ham are you?

Ham off!

Laugh my Hamming ass off!

Ham with me!

In a research, it was found out that Ham is the most popular phrase used by teens, and even retirees. 2000 people in US was surveyed, and 1999 people had said that they had used the word "Ham" before.

Multiple Theory of Ham

Ham Man Theory

Ham is also a mathematical formula to calculate pi as discovered by Archimedes. Archimedes also discovered that if you multiply Ham with Mass of average sized Chicken Wing and further divide them by the square of the radius of the circle, you will obtain pi.

$ham\times m \over r^{2}$ $=pi$

Later, Archimedes found that Ham = radius of same circle x mass of chicken / (weight/gravitational acceleration). Since we know w/g = m That bring us to:

$r\times m\times m \over r^{2}\times m$ $=pi$

$r\times m \over r^{2}$ $=pi$

$m \over r$ $=pi$

We know that area = pi x r square therefore, pi = area / r square

$m \over r$ = $area \over r^{2}$

$mr^{2}$ $=area\times r$

$mr$ $=area$

Since mr is used to address man, we can say that mr = man. We also know that area = 1/2 x base x height

$man=area$

$man=$ $1\times base\times height \over 2$

$2man=base\times height$

$2man \over height$ $=base$

Therefore, we have come to a conclusion that to calculate the total base(the area where the feet touch the ground) of any 2 man, we need to take their mass divided their height. This shows that ham is very useful in deducing formulas.

Other Theories On Ham

For more information of Ham Theory, see Ham Theories

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See Also

- Hamburger

- Chocolate

- Time

- Maths

- Chess