User:Ethereal/The Adventures of Fatman and Blobbin

“Quick Blobbin, to the buffet line!”

~ Fatman

“Holy sheep defecation Fatman!”

~ Blobbin

Fatman in all his glory

na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na, Fatman!

Allies

Fatman has many allies, all of them just as obese as him, except for Chickenwing.

Chickenwing

• The former Blobbin, he went solo after he decided to go on a diet. He is now annorexic.

Fatwoman

• A former friend of Fatman. No one knows what happend to her. It is rumored that she ate herself after she was trapped in a freezer.

Pooperman

• The man of steel farts has aided Fatman on several occasions, rubbing in the fact that he can fly, has super strength and is nearly indestructible, where Fatman is an overweight fatty.

Enemies

Fatman has many enemies varying in intelligence and waist size.

The New Yolker

A crime boss from new york who was knocked into a vat of toxic egg yolk by Fatman, causing him to mutate into a part man, part chicken, part egg creature. Since then he has been seeking revenge on Fatman and has become his worst enemy.

Brace Face

A dentist who had his teeth permenantly damaged after he was round-house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris. For some odd reason he decided to take his revenge out on Fatman so he invented high tech braces that were armed with hidden gadgets and weapons.

The Turkey

Ozzy Baster was always made fun of in school because he was a turkey. His rich family always tried to eat him every Thanksgiving so he left and began a criminal career. He became Fatman's enemy when he wouldn't let Fatman eat him.

Mr. Breeze

Mr. Johnny Breeze was an average man with an average job, house, and family, he just had a "gas problem." One day, when he was doing number two, he accidentally locked himself in the bathroom. His uncontrollable flatuence caused him to nearly suffocate. When he was finally freed from the bathroom, he was rushed into the emergency room. It turns out that the massive amounts of gas caused him to take in too much. This resulted in him not being able to breathe without farts present in the air. He was put in a suit that keeps him alive. The gas also messed up his mind causing him to turn to a criminal life. He attached a "gas gun" to his suit, which releases deadly amounts of poop-flavoured gas upon triggering. He then became an enemy of Fatman.

Posion Gravy

A woman who is obsessed with gravy. She loves gravy and will try to kill anyone that tries to eat it by posioning them with a special poison gravy. She became an enemy of Fatman when she tried to kill him for chugging three gallons of gravy at once.

Spatwoman

Saliva Lyles is a derranged costumed theif known for her spitting problem.

Tim Wagner

No one really likes him that much so he's on this list. His other alias is WagWag, and he likes to eat ice cream.

The Rittalir

Allan "A." Tentiondeficithyperactivitydisorder suffered from ADHD as a child was extremely over medicated and got addicted to Ritalin. because of his addiction Ritalin now has no effect on him. he tries to make riddles but usually gets distracted by a butterfly or shiny object.

The Jogger

The Jogger is a supervillain, the anti-thesis to Fatman and a scourge to the obese population of Gluttony City. Originally one of the few dietitians in Gluttony City who hadn't fled in panic from the widespread morbid obesity of the city, he fell into a huge vat of mineral water. Discovering that the mineral water had miraculously turned him from a reasonably overweight person into a slim and muscular athlete, he went mad and vowed to rid the city of obesity and the multinational oligarchy behind it. He gained the power to run like hell and decided to brainwash the citizens of Gluttony City into running a jogging race across the city, but was thwarted by Fatman each time. He made a criminal career out of secretly switching people's hamburgers with vegan soy equivalents with whole grain hamburger bread and replacing cola with colored carbonated mineral water before Fatman decided that it was about enough of "all this health care bullshit". Fatman discovered to his dismay that the Jogger was secretly running a criminal underground chain of aerobic exercise gyms and was recruiting citizens from all around the city into his "new and healthier way". Fatman tried to run the Jogger over with his Fatmobile, but discovered that he was so heavy that the car could drive at the very most at 25 km/hour - the Jogger, being as athletic as he is, could simply run in circles around Fatman's Fatmobile, laughing as he ran.

The Jogger, Fatman's arch-nemesis, with his characteristic headband and purple jogging suit. Notice the pale, sickly skin from his lack of vitamin B₁₂, his green hair from eating too many vegetables and his red lips from eating too many tomatoes.

Scare-Fro

A scarecrow that was made in the 70's. It came to life after it was struck by lightning. Wanting to start his own life, he took a job of grilling burgers at McDonalds. One day Wuce Brayne came to the McDonalds and ordered 50 burgers. Since there were no other grillmen that day, Scare-Fro had to make them all himself. The burger flipping caused the spatula to fly out of his hand and hit the manager in the face. Scare-Fro was fired and seeked revenge on Fatman.

Crapface

One day Fatman took a dump. The crap made it's way through the sewers and was covered with radioactive waste. The crap was mutated into a living crap monster, which could change it's form at will. He has hated Fatman ever since for turning him from his original form as a beef burito into a pile of crap.

Adam West

Has hated Wuce Brayne ever since he was given the lead role as Fatman over him in the Fatman movie.

Michael Keaton

He auditioned for the role of Fatman in the Fatman movie, but the only line he knew was "I am Fatman." Has tried to kill Fatman ever since so he can steal his costume and claim himself as Fatman.

Gadgets

Fatman has a variety of tools at his disposal.

Fatarang

Fatmans signature weapon is a bladed throwing weapon that resembles a fork.

Grappling Gun

A gun that fires a cable that is strong enough to hold three elephants which is equal to the weight of Fatman. Good for getting hard to reach food.

Fat-Pepto-Bismol

For bloaty stomach aches.

Utility Belt

Holds an assortment of food seasonings, condiments, eating utensils, and snacks. All of which come in handy in fatmans crime-fighting and extreme gluttony.

Cape

A tablecloth that goes fits nicely over any flat surface for an on-the-job meal.

Vehicles

Fatmobile

The Fatmobile is a high tech station wagon. Fatman is the only one who can use it because only one person of his size can fit in it. All others sitting the driver's seat would not be able to reach the steering wheel.

Fatplane/Fatwing

Fatman's air transportation. It is not used often because it can only fly up to twenty feet with Fatman inside

Fatboat

A past vehicle of Fatman's. It sunk due to the heavy amount of weight inside.

Fatscooter

A motorized scooter that Fatman uses to get around.

Fatman on his fatscooter as his secret identity, Wuce Brayne

Fatforklift

Used to move Fatman.

Fatbike

a three wheeled motorcycle used by fatman.

Fatsub

A submarine that is used as underwater transport, used to be the Fatboat before it sunk.

Fat-Quad

a four wheeler used for off-roading by Fatman.

FatRV

A motor home motor home for long trips.