User:EricIsOnFire/Why?:I Wear My Sunglasses At Night
What? What do you mean why do I wear my sunglasses at night? First, is that really even your business? First off, you don't even see me at night. So, you have no right to question my decision to rock the Ozzie Osbournes!
But if you absolutely must know why I rock shades at night, I guess I can take the time off my personal time to tell you why. It might be a bit unbelievable... at first. Yes, only at first though. So, please sit down. Wait here, I need to grab my daytime shades... where did I put them? Ah... yes! Here they are! Now, yes now, I can tell you.
I am nocturnal[edit | edit source]
See, this is the part that might be hard to believe. I am human, and I bet you don't know much people who are... what I am. It's, it's, it's... listen closely... I am nocturnal.
Don't give me that! First off, you don't even know what it's like to be nocturnal. It isn't fun at all! Not fun at all. I cannot see during daytime. I don't just have a minor condition of nocturnalism, I have it as much as a bat! A bat I tell you! A bat!
I cannot see at all at night. That's why I wear these hear sunglasses for daytime. I invented these here spectacles with reflection-shock darken-osmosis-fuse-me-downs-super-eye-doctor-super-diddle-fiddle-draw-me-downs-hang'em-high technology. That's right. Try repeating that, let alone understand it.
The technology, I codenamed Nocturnal-G.T.F.O, helps me see during the day. So know you understand why it is so hard for me to see without these here super powered spectacles? See how blind I am. Yeahhhh... NOT FUN.
It is hip[edit | edit source]
Yeah, that's right. I'm bringing sexy back. I mean, who is going to stop and break the ice? No one is going to break the ice. So I am. This, I tell you, will be "the thing" in the next couple of years.
What? You want evidence? Alright, that one guy from X-Men! He has to wear his sunglasses everywhere and at all times. So that even means he has to wear his sunglasses during the night. In fact, he's my favorite X-Men character just because of that reason right there.
You want more backup on my statement? Geez luis, Christ almighty.