User:DotJasperDotNot/HowTo:Die

HowTo:Kill yourself

Since you have no friends, alive family that likes you, and no job, you don't think you can keep living, why don't you learn how to die? The following article will tell you how.

Death by firearm

THIS PAGE A SPLODE.

This is a good pistol to buy.

Step 1: Buy a firearm. Preferably a manual pistol. An automatic machine gun has no right to kill you, since you are the one shooting you, and 100 rounds isn't necessary for killing yourself. Just 1 bullet.

Step 2: Buy one bullet. The clerk will look at you in a funny, and will ask you if you want to kill yourself(Federal Code 4930), but since you know suicide is legal a United States Federal offense, just say, "I'm helping my teenage son shoot a gun." He will give you a bullet with a smile on his face.

Step 3: Load. Watch a loading video for a manual firearm online. I don't know how to do it, saying that is on my contract. Sorry.

Step 4: Aim and shoot. Hey, it's as easy as spoonfeeding a baby, which is daunting. Pull the firearm to your head and shake your legs. Slowly pull the trigger. Make sure that your head is a splode. When it a splode, you will not sense anything. Congratulations! You are officially dead! Would you like to Play again? No? Please? Come on!

Death by Concrete/Wood stairs

Single Player(Suicide)

Ryan is not doing the proper thing. Ryan should be falling.

“This only works if your stairs have no carpet.”

~ Captain Obvious on Pushing yourself down the stairs

Step 1: Remove the carpet from your stairs. Captain Obvious already explained it, I don't need to repeat it.

Step 2: Get about 6 inches from the first stairstep. So it will hurt the most, and you will die faster.

Step 3: Fall forward. This can also be called Drop dead.

Step 4: Bump your head on the steps. Although this step was created to make this HowTo uselessy long, I'll say, if your head isn't bumping on any stairs, I suggest you do Step 5.

Step 5: Repeat until dead. If you're bleeding on the first try, let it bleed. If you're not, try again.

Cooperation Mode(Homocide)

That's right. Play the song.

Even though we're on the topic of suicide, this one is more effective and gets the job done. Step 2 is the same as Step 1's suicide.

Step 1:Get a person who hates you. This won't be hard, because nobody likes you. Probably call up a buff enemy and tell him you want him to push you down the stairs.

Step 3: Let the good times get rickrolled. Put Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you...

Step 4: Commence stair-death. Have him FORCE you down the stairs, if you see a bright light, run to the light! Run to the fucking light! Don't stop until the light fills your view! Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie, I hurt you! We've known eath other, for so long... your heart's been aching but, you're just tryin' to say it!