User:Citrusmirakel/Tiananmen Square

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Tiananmen Square (Simplified Chinese: 天安门广场; Overcomplicated Chinese: 天安門廣場棋盘街大清门中华门棋盘街) is a plaza in the center of Beijing, China. The plaza, named after the new wave band, The Tiananmen (literally, Bards of a Fair and Just Government) was built in 1417 as a monument to peace. 600 years later, nothing at all is ironic about this.

The Building of Tiananmen Square[edit | edit source]

In the midst of the Ming dynasty, it was prophisized that at some point in the future, a great and glorious leader named Mao Tse Tung would be born. And that this leader would, upon death, need a mausoleum (not to be confused with a Maüsoleum, which is where bad Art Spiegelmen drawings go to die) in a high traffic area.

Historic Events[edit | edit source]

Tiananmen Square has been the site of a number of political events, such as the annual Chairman Mao Is A Fantastic Leader Parade, which was started by the Proletariat, and was in no way influenced by outside government agencies. The square has also been the site for only one protest; The Protest Against People Who Disagree That Chairman Mao Is A Fantastic Leader. The Ministry of Truth explains the reason for the annual non-violent protest.


1989 Protests[edit | edit source]

There were no such protests.

Edit: In a response to a series of inquiries made by the American Central Intelligence Agency, this article is now willing to acknowledge that there were in fact protests in 1989, and that as many as 7 Chinese citizens may have received moderate to severe boo-boos, and that 2 may have received mild owies. The reason for these protests in unknown and irrelevant.