User:Chickenfoot/Beyonce songs may have time signatures.
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
3 July 2010
Hollywood, California -- "Well of course my songs have time signatures. It's music, isn't it?" Beyonce told a crowd of very disappointed fans.
Ever since the dawn of time, cool people have been making fun of and wailing on "those losers from band class" for being able to be able to be more interesting than them, and, more importantly, read music. A comment from an undisclosed nerd states:
“Well, err... I, being omnipotent could always read music. All the other gods would whup on my ass. And there was nothing I could do about it! You know, that Zeus guy is a real douche-bag.”
When it was discovered that Beyonce wrote music, the initial shock was a given. But Beyonce stated that "I think we have all matured since high school" and the more appalling "If you think I'm a nerd, you should stop listening to my music...". After this comment was released, thinking they could get away with it, came out of the closet as proper band geeks. This has caused the biggest rise of assholes and bullies since the Italian Renaissance, and the death of several great artists, including, but not limited to: Taylor Swift, Beyonce Knowles, James Hetfield, and Mick Jagger.
This has been Jason Smith reporting for UnNews, signing--
"HEY ASSHOLE!"
Aw, shit. "Someone told me you can read music!"
Well...
Man commences on attacking the douche-bag reporter
Jason, out!