User:Cajek/Why?:Have A Mortal Enemy

Everyone who is worth their salt has a mortal enemy. In nature, in life, in movies, everybody has a mortal enemy. However, you can't just get one like you get your groceries: there are rules to this "game" that you may not have realized.

Rules?

Yes there are many rules to having a mortal enemy:

• You must hate your mortal enemy with every fiber of your being
• You must choose the right mortal enemy
  • enemy must be on the other side of the whole good vs. evil thing
  • enemy must be a roughly equal match for you in combat
  • enemy must not be able to ever actually defeat you or you would be screwed
• You can not kill your enemy or the game would end
• You enemy must always be in a stale-mate with you
• You must be willing to engage your worst enemy in a machete battle to the death
• It is reccommended that you have a list of spare enemies in case your normal enemy is killed or defeated.(an example is provided below):

Michael Jackson,Amy Winehouse,Martha Stewart,Oprah Winfrey,Sarah Palin,Paris Hilton,Joseph Stalin,Zombies,Satan,Hippies

Hey, Why?

It's okay to not have a mortal enemy: two-thirds of the world don't have one, including hippies, old people (but only the ones who weren't messed up in the war), and Buddhists.

Hey, What Is A Mortal Enemy?

A mortal enemy is a horrible person who seems to exist only to ruin your life. Mortal enemies can prove to be annoying in a vast array of ways such as: being slightly better than you at everything, apposing you unlimited power, repeating everything you say, and hating everything abut you.

Examples

doublebassblog.org/images/posts/Bugs-Bunny.jpg