User:Bradaphraser/.communists
.communists are followers of the creed that "Entertainment should be distributed according to need," these individuals believe that since the internet is a repository for all knowledge, wisdom, art, and culture, they should be able to take whatever the hell they want.
Origin of .communism[edit | edit source]
From the man page bible: Neuteronomy 5: 32346823 (does it ever end?) And holily the us*r (whose name being too holy to spell in full), said, "Let there be a dot". And there was. And it was good. Then spakest He-Who-Musteth-Not-Be-Named-Lest-Thou-Hast-Workgroup-Permissio, "Let there be a C". And holy fucking Christ there it was! The us*r took a break from shock and got a burrito. Then on the next day, the us*r looked at his computer, and proclaimed to his O RLY manuals, "In the name of Captain Kirk! Is this thing still on?" Thus the us*r just finished typing the damn word and hit with the holy ring finger (he was a bad typist) the enter button. Amen"
The age of the man page can be traced to being from the Elohist author of the bible. This is because of the Epic style, in direct contrast from the same subject from the Yawist author. You can also note the sparse use of us*r. Even the ever ambigious asterisk cannot be over used.
There came a point when us*r itself was too holy a term to be uttered, and then it got changed to usr. The correct pronunciation of which has been lost due to the millenia. Currently, the faithful even go so far as to only ascribe application data to the usr, and to put what used to be the holy us*r into the /home/* directory.
Compare the same story, but from an older, more homely, less existential era of holy iSrael:
In the beginning, when the earth was kinda there and kinda night, my homeys, the user just thought it'd be hip to let there be two types of blue shizzle, da earth and da skye. Then the user could see nuthin' and made some lights. Den he made animals, and gave each animal some peeps, so they wouldn't be all angsty. And thus spake the user, "O sheeite! I need names for all o' this!" So then he was like, "Shucks". With that one word of creation he kicked the dust idly in frustration and then there was as nizzle for so that he could be namin' every-ting.
O' course, the nizzle was like, "wassup G? I need some action!" And thus this nizzle went and got some BeeBee Cue ribs, and gave up the rib to the user and said, "Dis OK? I wasn't up for that getting knocked out shit". And OK it was.
And this here rib became his biznitch. And one day, she was looking around in the forbidden directory of knowledge and found all this nonsense about homeys being equal to other homeys, and not taking advantage of the force of a homey's labor, and other shizzle. So this biznitch went up to the nizzle and spake, "You're soooo fucking bourgeois!" And then of course the nizzle had to put some pants on because he wasn't gettin' action that night.
Then the user came strolling in, and he was like, "wtf, who told you you were naked!" And then the nizzle was like, "Dude, i've always been naked". Then the biznitch was like, "Like no way, I'm naked too!"
So then, like you're not going to believe this, the user who just became the root (no kidding, I'm like for serious), like made a new hidden directory so like no one's gf would find out about communism.
Early .communism[edit | edit source]
Many scholars claim that .communism was originally formed by Plato as he wrote the Acts of the Apostles. Other scholars want what that first group of scholars was smoking. Still a third group of scholars point to Karl Marx (creator of the less-common .marxism), Elizabeth Berkeley, and Al Gore as the mothers of invention.
Its origins are so hard to trace in part because it starts with a dot (.), making it invisible unless you look at it with a dash-a (-a).
Modern .communism[edit | edit source]
Shawn Fanning teamed with Oprah to create Crapster in 2001 as part of a terrorist plot to annihalate the American music industry. It failed, because the recently declared War on Terra was expanded to classify .communists as part of the natural internet environment, and therefore enemy combatants.