User:Blitzbolt/HowTo:Construct a Homemade Nuclear Bomb

Ever get angry at your neighbor because his cat keeps taking a dump in your yard? Maybe you lost a game of paper, scissors, rock against your friend, and you want to get him back. Or maybe you want a way to punish that n00b you flamed yesterday, who thought he was safe over the internet. Whatever your reason, consider making a homemade bomb. Not only is it necessary for self-defense, but also, it's both educational and violent. After reading this tutorial, you will know the working of this bomb, be able to construct a homemade bomb with ease, and get that n00b back with your new-found knowledge and skill.

Chemical Makeup

Since this is a homemade bomb, all materials used must be easily found around the house. As such, the bomb is based off of the following formula:

Mn + DyCo₂ → Mn(DyCo₂)₃

That is, mentos and diet coke yields MDC, or mentos-diet-coke, the vital component of an extremely powerful nuclear bomb. When MDC mixes with oxygen, O₂, in the air, they will react violently, resulting in a massive explosion. Do not be fooled by the word "homemade"- this bomb is capable of mass destruction.

Scientists present the unlikely chemicals of their newly discovered bomb.

This reaction, once thought to be a myth because no one had ever proved it, was finally confirmed in the 1940s during World War II when U.S. scientists were working on the Manhattan Project. Debates ensued over whether such a dangerous bomb made of MDC should be used. However, the benefits of being able to pwn millions of n00bs at once was too tempting, and the parties favoring peace were labeled "dirty Commies" and shot.

How many Mentos should you use?

The effect of mixing 1 mg Mentos with a bottle of Diet Coke.

It really depends on how big you want your explosion to be. The amount of Mentos used is directly proportional to the size of the explosion, so it should be relatively easy to calculate. Even just a bit of MDC can go a long way, so don't overdo it. An example of the effect of 1 mg of Mentos is shown at right.

How To Construct a Homemade Nuclear Bomb

There are many different ways to construct a homemade nuclear bomb, depending on several factors, such as the size of the explosion, the intensity of the explosion, or the number of kittens killed. You should find the method that best suits you, or make one of your own. The most important thing to remember is to control the size of the explosion, as you could end up blowing up your entire city on "accident". Some methods of implementing MDC as a bomb follow:

Method 1

1. Get a gallon size Ziploc Bag.
2. Place the desired amount of Mentos in one corner of the bag. Twist that corner tight.
3. Pour the correct amount of Diet Coke into the bag, making sure that none of it comes into contact with the Mentos.
4. At this point, your bomb is ready. Untwisting the corner will cause them to mix and form MDC, which will then react with oxygen.

• From here, use your imagination to untwist it. Perhaps a weight and pulley system suits your fancy, or maybe you prefer a timed switch- just remember that the explosion should be as far away from you as possible.
• Perhaps, if the bomb is weak enough, you could toss it to your friend, untwisting the bag in the process, or throw it into your neighbor's yard, also untwisting the bag in the process. Either way, the bag shouldn't untwist itself until it gets near wherever you're tossing it to, so you should remain unharmed. Just to be safe, though, you might want to consider wearing latex gloves.

Method 2

This method takes advantage of the fact that MDC will only explode in the presence of oxygen.

1. Perform steps 1-3 of the above method, except this time, deplete the bag of all oxygen, and make sure none gets into the bag afterward.
2. Untwist the bag. At this point, the components will react and form MDC but will not explode because there is no oxygen in the bag. Thus, opening the bag will cause the explosion.

• You could mail this dangerous construction to someone else and hope they open it. This is recommended if you are attacking a poor helpless n00b who does not know the effects of oxygen on MDC.
• You could also send this bomb to that n00b that you flamed and threatened to kill. Sure, the n00b thinks he's safe over the internet, but this will definitely make him think twice, if he has the capability of thinking, that is.
• Unfortunately, this also means that this method will not work on some other planets that don't have oxygen present in the air. This means that unless you send a tank of oxygen in the mail and hope the receiving alien opens both at once (which is pretty unlikely anyway), the MDC will not detonate and you weapon will fail.

Method 3

The suicide bombing method.

1. Get a pack of Mentos, a two or three liter bottle of Diet Coke, and a piece of paper.
2. Open the bottle of Diet Coke and the pack of Mentos.
3. Place the piece of paper over the pack of Mentos and flip the pack upside down. The paper should prevent the Mentos from falling out. Then place this over the bottle of Diet Coke.
4. Remove the paper. All the Mentos in the pack should drop in, form MDC, and explode instantaneously. Obviously, you have no time to run away or escape.

• Also known as suicide bombing, popular among terrorists.
• It is suspected that this is the method used by facists in the Russian Revolution of 1711.
• And by the aliens in the future revolution in 2711.

Or you could ingest some chemicals and take a huge dump.WARNING: It is possible the bomb might explode when you drop out your feces.