User:Bad Shroom/UnAirlines:The Air Flight Passenger's Guide to Purgatory

Hello, and welcome to Delta Airlines. Does everyone enjoy their seats? Anyway, I'll be your flight attendant for today. If you're waiting on this plane, you must have died. I know, sad. However, explain your death reasons only upon the arrival of your destination, because I don't really give a shit about what mmade you commit suicide. Oh, sorry for the language, young boy.

Location

Anyway, you are now in a place called Purgatory. What is it? Purgatory is the place where dead souls like you can take flights to Heaven, Hell, and even outer space. Needless to say, our flight can be pretty quick. Did you know that evil souls provide roughly 1 megaton of raw energy, making our engines go 1000 miles to the gallon and 5,000 miles per hour? Humans are amazing, aren't they? So for you murderers on our flight, if you try to harass anyone, let's just say you won't be coming back on when we stop for gas. That goes for anyone else on our flight. I presume you all have your tickets? If you are evil and wish to have a small chance to go to heaven, please pray to God for forgiveness. I must say, though, we have definately upgraded and civilized our experience since November of 2005. Unfortunately, this was too late for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Wow, were they in for a surprise.

Warnings and Precautions

Now, before we begin, for those of you who are going down to Hell, the plane might explode from underground pressure. Also, demonic poisonous snakes may enter the plane. If this happens, please exit out the sides of the plane and drop at a velocity of no more than 500 miles per hour. For flights up to Heaven, oxygen masks will be needed as we exit Earth's atmosphere and will only be taken off when we land at the Pearly Gates. Thank you.