User:B1KWikis/123
For people who don't get it: This is a parody of Shakespeare's crap, (with numbers and letters for characters).
<<<.
The Tragedy of 1 2 & 3 (and 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, a, b...)[edit | edit source]
ACT I[edit | edit source]
Order your Alphabet bible today. Just call 1-800-ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ! (no typo)
We now return to 7 with a chance. “Hey 5, why is 6 scared of me? Well it’s simple, because 789. *Laugh track* That’s not funny, I did not eat her!”
1: How could you do that?
2: Do what?
1: How could you do that?
2: Do What?
1: How could you do that?
2: For the love of 10! Could you please tell me what I did?
1: How could you do that?
2: Why do you keep saying that?
2 Lifts up the snuggie 1 is wearing
1: How could you do that? How could you do that? How could you do that? How could you do that?...
2: Oh my 10! He put a tape recorder and ! under a snuggie, I’ve been talking to a robot!
!: well, I am a person
2: no you are not. You are a symbol!
!: COVER COMPRIMISED! SELF DESTRUCT IN 5..4..3..2..
3: Hey what’s going o-
2: Get out!
1: BOOM!
ACT II[edit | edit source]
2: OMG
ACT II.I.I[edit | edit source]
3: Ouch!
ACT III[edit | edit source]
Two hours later…
2: 3, are you alright?
3: I’ve been flipped upside down and blown in half, do you think I’m alright?
2: Oh no, 3, you’re a…c
c: I am no longer a number, I will have to leave town. Oh 11!
Enter z
z: How dare you mention 11 in this house of 10!
c: Sorry reverend.
z: 10 forgives you.
Enter 1
1: You just had to lift the snuggie didn’t you?
2: Where the hell were you?
z: WATCH IT!
2: Could you please-
c: 1! You bast—cough cough
Dies
2: He’s dead… EXPLAIN YOURSELF, 1!
1: I was on a secret CIA Mission to find out where Y was and assassinate him, vowel impersonating consonant mongrel.
2: But..why?
1: I’m afraid you know too much
Pulls L out of nowhere.
2: DON’T SHOOT!
1: It was nice knowing you…
Shoots a . out of the L, 2 becomes <
<: Why? ~~
Dies
1: Oh 10! What have I done?
Shoots self, becomes 1
1: Oh no, I can’t be cut in half, because I am a straight line, I am immortal!
Enter I
I: What have you done? I’ll destroy you!
Attaches self to 1, becoming T, T then shoots self with L, becomes r
r: Now the Alphabet is free of numbercide
dies
ACT VII[edit | edit source]
Enter 4
4: Now that they are dead, the whole alphabet has been used in these sentences, and 5,6,7,8, and 9 are stuck in a perpetual bad sitcom, I can take over the ALPHABET! I will call it…SP4NISH Mwahahahahahaha!!! See, it’s a pun of Spanish… but I am the…A... I need to stop talking to myself…
Enter 10, panting heavily
10: Not..So..Fasssssssssst. pant wheeze
4: Oh yeah I forgot about 10. Well you can’t stop me now. It’s only you and me- W-why are you panting so hard?
10: Well it’s hard to get all the way down from the Alpha-sky to here, do you realize how long of a walk that is? Well it’s inconvenient!
4: Well, I’ll take care of you then. Mwahahahaha!
Transforms into a giant number 4(squared)
4(squared): Mwahahahahaha! Nothing can stop me now!
10: Okay, 1, You forgot why I am the highest power of this place. 2, STOP LAUGHING LIKE THAT! IT IS IRRITATING!!! Grrrrrrr..
10 transforms into so many powers he becomes ∞.
∞: REPENT!
4: Oh noes.
Just before getting crushed by the awesome power of ∞, Chuck Norris comes in to save the day
ACT V[edit | edit source]
4: Wait, what? Lemme see that script [1,2,3,5…infinity,L,T,r 4~~4di--] You aren’t even in the scrip-
Director: CUT
4; Great, now we have to do this scene ALL over again
Chuck: I-I’m sorry
∞: Ugh, the set for your movie is over there in the other studio
Chuck: Whoops, my mistake, great seeing you, Will
4: My name’s not Will, As you can clearly see, I am a NUMBER
Chuck: Oh, that is pretty weird
Narrator: And the moral of the story is that Chuck Norris is so powerful that he is no longer allowed in drama movies, as that is an unfair advantage.
4: Cu-Cut the Norris jokes! They are so old.
Narrator: Sorry…
ACT MMLXCVIII(x+2y) / 0[edit | edit source]
10 minutes later…
∞: let’s finish this!
42: I will destroy you!
∞: nope
∞ destroys 42 by rotating and falling on him
42: Oh..my… Dies
The End
Foot note[edit | edit source]
This was typed a LONG time ago, and it seemed to fit this site's humor pretty well. There is no need to delete this, just edit it until it is perfect. Honestly, the author thinks everything after the moment when 4 enters (ACT VII) is kinda retarded, and needs to be either fixed, or just removed from this "UnBook".
A version of this was tagged for ICU on December 59th, 2059 on a Monderday
I N D E X 2[edit | edit source]
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