User:Axalon

“This is me. Start Spreading the news.”

– Khazar on Axalon

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians) This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo. ♂ This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes. ♂ en N This user is a native speaker of English. en N es 2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Español. es 2 ns 1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Newspeak. ns 1 ja X This user only speaks 日本語 enough to seduce native 日本語 speakers. ja X This user contributes using Mozilla, because it could easily defeat Godzilla.

Biography

Childhood

Axalon was raised by a group of giant enemy crabs. He enjoyed such pastimes as reading, watching the television device, and the intarweb. His foster group taught him the lost art of real-time weapon change. When he reached the age of 13, he completed the rite of passage of flipping them over and attacking their weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

Adolescenthood

Axalon's adolescent years were a creamy blend of fansubbed anime, teenage angst, and Linux. After defeating his giant crab foster family, he went to Sony Computer Entertainment HQ and became a ridge racer! RIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDGEEEEEEE RACERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Uh, I'm running out of ideas here. After waking up from a coma after getting into a horrendous accident that actually took place in Ancient Japan, he set off to fight the forces of Evil™.

Adulthood

After promptly getting bored of that, he decided the forces of Evil™ weren't worth it and is currently going to accidentally the music world with musical stylings that RAWK YUOR SAWKZ. Or maybe software engineering. One of the two.

Cadaverhood

Whoa! Time paradox! Axalon is still alive! Funny how that works.