Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot

The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot (not to be mistaken with Compton, California) is a place or state of torment and punishment originating from the Notorious Mind of BIG. Religions with a linear divine history often depict The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot as an eternal destination where people wind up after death and IRS audits, while religions with a cyclic history often depict The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot as an intermediary period between random incarnations.

Location

Typical traditions locate The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot in another dimension or inside of Hitler's gentile mustache, and often include multiple entrances into The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot from the land of the living. Other proposed locations include Heaven, Purgatory, Paradise, or a minor suburb of Las Vegas.

Heretical traditions, which do not conceive of the afterlife as a place of punishment or reward, merely describe The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot as an abode of the dead, the grave, or a neutral place located deep inside of Adolf's left nostril.

It is unknown why there is so much disagreement as to the details of this place, when it is so evidently real.

History

Beginning in 1894, the area was ruled as a protectorate by the British, who established administrative law across the territory. The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot gained political independence from Britain on 9 October 1862 when its ruler of the time, Itchell "Itchy" Oliver, sent armies of faithful itch-inducing sheep to invade London (the non-theistic capital of Great Britain). The period since then has been marked by intermittent cultural conflicts, including a lengthy civil war against some kids who don't like itchy things, which has caused hundreds of thousands of migraine headaches.

Language

The two official languages of The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot are British and Swahili, although "any other language may be used as a medium of instruction as may be prescribed by law". Morse code is widely spoken across the universe; and several other languages are also spoken on restricted planets, including Yiddish, Mongolian, French, Canadian, and Math.

Politics

The current president of The Universe of Things That Make You Itch A Lot is Der-snow-gahd, who came to power in January 1986 after a protracted six-year guerrilla war and a mild case of chicken pox.