Undictionary:Giving someone the Hummingbird

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Slang - Action[edit]

  1. Verb - Sex Act: The act of taking a woodwind/reed instrument and inserting it into the vagina/anus/other sexual cavity of a sexual partner, and blowing the notes into it in order for the noise to echo around the inside of the receiver.
  2. Verb - Gift: Giving someone a Hummingbird as a gift.

Example of Usage[edit]

1.[edit]

John: "Bro, I found my old plastic recorder from third grade, and I gave my girl the Hummingbird!"

Rick: "You're fucking sick in the head. Did it sound cool, though?"

John: "Yeah, it did! I played "Hot Cross Buns" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb"

Rick: "Which hole did you put it in?"

John: "Aw man, that's TMI."

2.[edit]

John: "I gave my Mom a hummingbird for her birthday."

Rick: "Cool!"

John: "Your fly is down."

Rick: "Why are you looking at my crotch, fag?"

DEFINITELY not this one.

History of the (Sex Act) Hummingbird[edit]

The Hummingbird was first invented by the Aboriginals after one of them got way too horny and decided to shove a didgeridoo up one of their holes, and then blow. The tribal elders, after hearing the sound that it made, decided to etch the records of it onto the cave walls, where it laid dormant for over 3000 years.

In 2019, it was rediscovered after known loser <insert name here> decided to see if they could give head to themselves. However, when <insert name here> went to sit down, they had forgotten that they had left their clarinet bell-side-down, and somehow manage to accidentally shove their clarinet up their asshole.[1] The shock of the clarinet piercing <insert name here>'s poop-chute was so great that they compeltely lost their mind. <insert name here> was then put in an insane asylum, where they reside to this day, with their sanity being so deluded that they think that they're sitting at home on Uncyclopedia right now, instead of spazzing out in a padded cell. One of the workers at the asylum (who should probably be locked up with the rest of the inmates patients) thought that this wasn't such a bad idea, and decided to to spread this on the internet. Now, numerous horny college teens think that, like butt-chugging, this is a fantastic idea.

History of the (Gift) Hummingbird[edit]

Hummingbirds are very interesting birds, known for their high wing speed and frequent presence at specialized bird feeders. While having one as a pet is unconventional, it could be done, although They require lots of nutrients (200-300 flies a day), as well as a large space to fly around in (very large bird cage). Unfortunately, keeping a hummingbird as a pet is illegal, and getting caught with one will result in you being summarily executed by the bird-police. Instead of getting someone a hummingbird as a gift, get them a hummingbird feeder. This will most likely attract the beautiful and tiny little birds, and you can watch them zip around from the comfort of your home.

  1. Everyone knows that only nerds, dweebs, and doofuses play the Clarinet.