Underpants Gnomes

“GAH!”

~ Tweek on Underpants Gnomes

“Screw you guys... I'm going home.”

~ Cartman on underpants gnomes

“Holy shit! We killed your friend!”

~ Underpants Gnomes on Killing Kenny

“Time to go to work. Work work work. Each and every day. We won't stop till we have underpants. Yum tum yummy tum hey.”

~ Underpants Gnomes on collecting underpants

Underpants Gnomes are again a major topic of conversation following their recent coup.

One theory for the Underpants Gnome is that a magic curse randomly makes their pants disappear (often at school, while giving a presentation to the whole class)

Another "Sub Species" of gnomes have been found in the southern parts of the great land of Canadia, and they are known as the Underpants Gnomes.

Feeding Habits

Underpants gnomes feed off of odd socks which they steal from the dryers of the suburban homes they live in. They have also been known to feed off of bras, panties, boxers, briefs, thongs, g-strings, hamsters, cats, sea urchins, beer and wildabeast.

Natural Defenses/Weaknesses/Predators

• Underpants gnomes have a built in Chameleon reflex, used to hide in dark corners, under beds, and in people's assholes during the day, or during the occasional midnight munchie run made by the human inhabitant of the house.

• Underpants gnomes are addicted to dry-erase markers and odd bits of change, preferably ören and femmor. They also are extreamly susceptible to Comicly Oversized Mallets, more so when the mallets are "+5" and have the "Gnome Smashing" ability.

• The natural predators of the Underpants Gnome is the Cross dresser, the Gareth, and the Uber-Gamer (a primitve form of gamers). All but the infamous Gareth are easily avoidable, but unfourtunatly the Gareth can smell gnomes, and always carries a +5 Comicly Oversized Mallet of Gnome Smashing on him, simply to get the job done. Once the gnome has been smashed, it is dressed in an entertaining outfit and forced to do an embarrassing dance. Also, the infamous ManBearPig. The ManBearBig spits orange soda into the Underpants Gnomes' eyes, blinding them, then steals their soul to give to Al Gore.

Business Skills

Phase 1: Collect Underpants

Phase 2: ???

Phase 3: Profit

Additional Info

• The feud between the Underpants Gnomes and the Gareth started way back when in the year of 1997, before the invention of the wheel, when the Underpants Gnomes were as brash as to steal the Gareth's flask of Vodka, and devoured it. Since then the Gareth has taken great pleasure in breaking their spirits and forcing them to act in his obscene puppet shows.

See Also

• Lawn Gnomes
• Computer Gnomes
• Smurfs
• Tweek
• Gareth