Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/fruitcake
fruitcake[edit source]
Hi. This is my first major contrib. Please do not be too harsh, but no B.S. either. I want to make a killer article.
--FookYooChineseFood 21:28, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
76.222.56.44 20:49, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8.5 | I like to evaluate the funniness of each section individually.
Quote: Very funny. keep it. However, you may want to make more. Intro: Very funny. Only changes are place testicles after concrete and eliminate the thing about the dildos. It's unneccessary. Extreme Hardness: I like this section too. Very humorous, and well thought-out. I love the thing about the guy deflecting nuclear radiation with a fruitcake. It would be great if you could get a picture (photoshopped of course) of this happening. The only thing I would change is the title. "Extreme Hardness" seems kinda tacky. Effects and P.C.: I would combine the two of these into one section, perhaps titled "Fun Facts" or something like that. I would also put the section closer to the bottom. And when you do this type of thing, make sure to put the things in order from least to most ridiculous. Chemical Instability: I'd get rid of the thing about Jimmy Carter. That's name-dropping and is only funny if it makes sense specifically with the rest of the article, which Jimmy does not. The list of the effected persons could work, but some changes could be enhanced. The Al Gore thing is name-dropping at its finest though. Weaponized: Crapeater is a corny name for a dog. Otherwise, great. History: "Concrete" needs fixed. Content is funny though. How To Make: Once again funny. The equation is wonderful. Modern: Good name-dropping. Good Job |
| Concept: | 8 | Clever concept in a very simple way. A little repetition, but great all the same. |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | No spelling or grammar mistakes that I could find. |
| Images: | 9 | I love the pictures. I'd try working on the spacing a little bit better. Great pictures though. Only suggestion is the thing about the atom bomb deflection. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | Never fully understood what the "Miscellanious" score referred too, but I'll give it an 8 for a very good article. |
| Final Score: | 43.5 | I really enjoyed reading this. It is a genuinely funny article with a modernized version of classic comedy. Great job you did. I didn't have much to suggest, but I hope you'll take my few suggestions to mind. |
| Reviewer: | --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 00:56, 1 March 2009 (UTC) | |