Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Watford
Watford[edit source]
Welcome back! • <-> (Dec 26 / 03:32)
| Humour: | 5 | A little -- sometimes more than a little -- disjointed. See endnotes. |
| Concept: | 8 | I like articles about places. They lend an air of encyclopedic versimilitude to our Great Work. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Mostly well-written, but peasant instead of "pesant" and Marlon Brando instead of "Brandow". Far, far too many redlinks. Eliminate them. |
| Images: | 0 | Has not got images. Put some in. How hard can it be to find a picture of Watford -- or something approximating it but funnier -- on Google? |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | I hope this gets better. |
| Final Score: | 26 | |
| Reviewer: | ----OEJ 19:23, 25 December 2007 (UTC) | |
Endnotes: There are a lot of scatter-shot references here. Why would "canine overlords" want the town black and white, and what the hell are canine overlords doing controlling Watford in the first place?
Unexplained and seemingly wild references make a piece seem random...usually spelled randumb. A much better technique is to weave a few plausible or nearly plausible references into a coherent and consistent framework.
For instance, if you wanted to continue with the cats and dogs thing you might establish, early on, why there were canine overlords and what they were up to. Make it seem at least somewhat rational. Then introduce the cats, again making it seem as plausible as possible. (What were the people doing whilst these animals were ruling? Why did not the British Gummint do something about it?)
An over-arching vision for a piece is a good thing. For example, if a place has a definite local character -- it has been a centre for manufacturing furniture from turnips since the Middle Ages -- then many sections of the article should probably make some reference to the overall characteristics of the subject. A section on education would include the famous Academy of Turnip-Furniture Design; famous people would include Thaddeus Poncy, who invented the turnip settee; historical events would include the Terrible Turnip Roast, in which a fire destroyed one of the towns great turnip-furniture factories.
When you can tie many sections back to a set of fundamental themes then the reader senses that the article as a whole "makes sense" even if it is pretty damned silly. Also, the subject -- in this case a town -- ends up feeling like a coherent place with a definite character.
Good luck --
----OEJ 19:23, 25 December 2007 (UTC)