Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unnews: Madonna to adopt Susan Boyle
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UnNews:Madonna to Adopt Susan Boyle[edit source]
Pieface 15:08, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8 | Pretty good article, Pieface- I thoroughly enjoyed it. While it's a pretty good article, I think there are a few flaws you need to correct-firstly, you have a few red links here and there, which I recommend you comb off a bit to make your article look nicer. Second, you get a bit random every now and then- a few things I recommend you get rid of are the Russian School of Ballet (non-sequitir) and go a little gentler on the jokes about Madonna's weight. Also, the line "someone who has risen above the horror of poverty, Aids, tribal violence and human trafficking that is part of daily life in Scotland" is kind of overkill- try to make your punchline a bit more subtle. |
| Concept: | 7 | Good job on making fun of Susan Boyle- she's still a fresh face in the media, and thus she is a funny subject of parody. However, I don't think you can deny the fact that Madonna jokes are older than dirt (AKA Madonna-Zing!). Adding Susan Boyle to the mix helps put a fresh coat of paint on it, but it's still a very well worn concept. It made me laugh more than i'd expect a Madonna article too, though, so it's not entirely overused. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | Good job on the spelling- I didn't spot any errors whatsoever. However, there were a couple of things that stood out when I was reading it- first, like I said above, you have a few red links you need to take care off. Second, I think you summon on Italics a bit too often- I know it's supposed to represent dialogue, so I suppose you can't really help that, but it still doesn't look too good. Overall, good job on the P&F. |
| Images: | 8 | Not much too say on this one. Images tie into the article well, and although the second one kind of creeped me out, I can't really complain because the article's about Madonna. The images aren't really your worry right now. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 38.5 | I rather enjoyed this article, Pieface- with a little more fine tuning, I plan to vote for this on VFH. I could distinguish only 2 visible problems- first, your red links make your article look ugly. Second, you use the wrong choice on words/punchlines at several points, as I mentioned earlier in my review. Once you take care of those things, I expect to see this on the front page (well, on a different part of it, at least.
Bottom Line: Good article, fix a few errors, and it's front page material. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 03:23, 24 May 2009 (UTC) | |