Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncyclopedia Liberation Force
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Uncyclopedia Liberation Force[edit source]
Please review it as normal, but give me some info about what I can add also... I'm kinda stuck :( 123 •T•C•E 21:42, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
Don't worry guys. I got this one JackOfSpades (talk) 01:55, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 3 | As it is right now it isn't all that funny. What I'd, personally, like to see is more of a parody of a famous speech. (or multiple famous speeches) That being said, the way the intro is right now is funny enough as it is, as this is obviously going to be expanded. |
| Concept: | 8 | Excellent concept. I don't think I can really say any more than that. The only thing that I took off points for was the name. You may disagree (people usually do) but when I hear _____ Liberation Force I think of a small resistance force that utilizes time travel, even if it's not necessary. I'd recommend either a) implementing that or b) changing the name to something more "modern" (Uncyc. Republican Army perhaps?) |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Ok first problem. Your sections on purpose and planning seem to just be a continuation of the speech from the intro. The speech isn't bad by any means, I just think that you should move the prose from those two sections into the intro and write new purpose and planning sections. Second problem. The "our first mission" section makes it seem like this Liberation Force has more than just one purpose. It seems to me that this should just be a force that has just one task that they are completely inept at. |
| Images: | 0 | No pictures unless you count the thing about wiki. I'm sure you have ideas for pictures, but I'd suggest Braveheart style pictures which could either represent Wikia, the ULF or both. (for maximum confusion) I don't know what you could do besides that though (sorry) |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Usually I average scores here but since this isn't totally finished I gave you what I think would be the average if the rest of the article is the same. |
| Final Score: | 24 | I didn't mention it before but there are some minor grammar issues, but that should be an easy fix. If you write actually sections for the purpose and planning sections and get rid of that writers' block you've got I think this could be a really great article. |
| Reviewer: | JackOfSpades (talk) 02:25, 5 May 2009 (UTC) | |