Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats

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Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats

My article is Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats. It was an article created by Famine a year ago, but swiftly abandoned. I discovered it on the verge of deletion and came to its aid. Please tell me where I can improve on it. --Conniving 00:18, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	8	Rather in-jokey (not that I'm complaining but it limits accessability) but still funny. Who doesn't like watching someone make fun of the people that can make your stay here hell? I especially liked the interview with Dawg and RcMurphy. How did you manage to get two b-crats to give you interviews? If b-crat's are anything like admins they should've just said "screw you".
Concept:	9	A group bio isn't really original but you get special ADD points for putting the interview in there. It helped me focus, because there were so many links to old forum topics I could go to! I especially like how you called them "really nice, helpful, and cool" as opposed to the "cool, sexy, and helpful" admins. Evidently becoming a bureaucrat kills your sexy.
Prose and formatting:	7	Though your grammar and spelling were near-perfect, the article really didn't flow well at all. You frequently jumped from topic to topic without warning, and one time it actually gave me whiplash. Seriously, it hurt.
Images:	6	The pictures were pretty bland, though the captions on the last two were good. I particularly like your use of the "Admin" pills, though I don't quite get the joke. If you can think of a way to word a joke about the b-crats making the pills for admins, it would fit really well with the preceeding paragraph. Still, could definately use more pictures for a lengthier article.
Miscellaneous:	10	Full points for turning a two-paragraph stub into a fleshed-out article. Definately fits as an article with the Uncyclopedia: header.
Final Score:	40	Though I did like this article, I don't really think it's right for VFH. Half the content is only understandable to those of us who keep contact with the other users, and in-jokes run free like rabbits on some old granny's cabbage patch. However, it is still a good article and I think that anybody that's "plugged-in" to the goings-on of Uncyclopedia would enjoy reading it. I don't think it can be featured, but it can still stand as an article meant to be read by those for whom it would have meaning. Like the Supersecret admin page, any stray Uncyclopedian can find it and have a good laugh at/with the most important ignored users on our site.
Reviewer:	Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 03:59, 18 October 2007 (UTC)