Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Apple sued for copyright infringement
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UnNews:Apple sued for copyright infringement[edit source]
This one is waiting for HELPME if he wants it. Pup Yes, of course. I might not finish tonight however, we'll see how much I can get done.
- I edit conflicted myself. Fail. Oh well, it's short, but here it is: HELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 05:46, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 10 | I've never given a 10 for humor before (even though this is only my third review), but I thoroughly enjoyed this article's humor. The satire is intelligent and well-written- while some of the puns and immature jokes (I especially enjoyed the name replacements and the bit at the end) were a hit as well. I really don't have much advice here- you follow HTBFANJS really well, and the execution worked in a great way. The humor also had an excellent flow and never strayed too far from the topic, while allowing a bit of humor that was slightly unrelated. The only reason this section is so short is because I really don't think there is a much better way to have written this article. |
| Concept: | 9 | You found a great concept and the execution of it was excellent, you really touched on the real humor sources of this article. I think you got a sufficient amount of satire in for the Apple and "Funcyclopedia" sides, but I think there is a way you could expand a little bit on a subject or two. I know UnNews is supposed to be short, but I think it would be a great area of humor somehow if you used some more references from people outside of the two sides. For example, another quote from an outside source, or a regular civilians response, etc. (Side note: Keep the ending exactly the way it is, though- I love it). |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | There are no real prose or formatting issues, the same goes for the voice, it's written perfectly for an UnNews article. I can't spot any spelling mistakes. The only thing that knocks it from a 10 down to a 9 is the fact that there are a couple grammar mistakes in there (The one from Apple is on purpose, I know, but a couple issues elsewhere) I can fix those myself, but they are very minor, only a person that is so pathetic they can spot grammar issues from an English professor would see them. Otherwise, there are no real specific issues here. |
| Images: | 9 | The images are fine. The second image is the better of the two in my opinion; the caption works well here too. I don't actually play World of Warcraft, so I had no idea about the first one for a while. After further inspection I got the humor and everything got back on track. This image is meant as a compliment to the satire, so it manages. The images look fine, and the formatting is good, the second one had PhotoShopping, right? Well, it was completely convincing, both of the images fit well with the article and certainly weren't eyesores. The images allowed a chuckle or two themselves, so they held their own among the text. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9.3 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 46.3 | Overall, a great article. I certainly think this article deserves a feature. Good luck getting it there. I got genuine laughs and chuckles. Puppy, you're a really good writer and this just proves so. Also, I apologize for this being short, but there aren't many areas that need improvement. Just some minor grammar fixes and other very small things. (And let it be known that this is not sucking up, I sincerely loved this article!) |
| Reviewer: | HELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 05:44, February 2, 2010 (UTC) | |