Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! A childrens picture book (Revised)

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UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! A childrens picture book [edit source]

Magic Snow man ☃ 16:13, December 16, 2010 (UTC)

Humour: 8 I must say, this article is very well written and made me laugh quite a bit. However, there are a couple of problems with coherence on the second and third pages which you might want to check up on, such as an apparently random reference to "Ian."

The narrative style is very good as it involves you talking like an innocent kid, and maintaining that kind of innocent tone no matter how many not-so-innocent people you come across. I particularly enjoyed the encounters with the sex offender, and mugger. Speaking of which, would you like to play a game?

Concept: 9 The idea of poking fun at a child's innocence as he searches for a missing penny is a superb one. First he hears raunchy songs on the radio, then he meets a sex offender, a chainsaw murderer, and a mugger only to discover that the penny was in his pocket the whole time. My only advice would be to expand the book a little bit more, as there's a lot more stuff this kid can come across in his innocent quest (such as a drug dealer. Why doesn't he try some of that powdery stuff?)
Prose and formatting: 8 The formatting is largely okay, though as I have mentioned, you have some problems with coherency. I'd suggest you proofread your book once.
Images: 8 The images are good, but they could be better. Maybe I'm saying this because there's a CGI picture of a kid's head on the first page, and the rest of the pics were shot in real life. Sorry, but the contrast doesn't work for me.
Miscellaneous: 8 What I think this article is worth.
Final Score: 41 Overall, a very nicely written and funny article, which could do with a bit of expansion, and touch-ups in presentation. There's a lot of potential for this book, just work on it a bit more.
Reviewer: --Scofield 08:05, December 29, 2010 (UTC)
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