Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Children of the Owl and the Pussycat

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The Children of the Owl and the Pussycat

Hey guy's any kind of feedback here would be good; the title is an actual proposed sequel btw. DavefaceFMS 06:17, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

24 hours or I cancel it. --Some Idiot 06:58, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, done. Not overly long because it's a short article but I've got some important stuff in. --Some Idiot 09:53, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Humour:	4	The thing about this article is that it is very, very short. You've got a good idea but you haven't built on it fully, it's still just developing. You do have a bit of humor in here, however, so I'm not going to rate this section too low. And saying that, ignore the scores for now. They're not important at all, what really matters are the comments I will make as they will improve your article greatly. Firstly I'm going to go through each section... Introduction: I don't know about the nutshell thing - doesn't really fit in. I advise you delete it. There are also some problems with the actual introduction. Another Uncyclopedian once told me that a good introduction... 1. Introduces the subject of the article 2. Contains humor 3. Should be at least a paragraph long. Your introduction covers the subject of your article. However, the only humor it contains is the humor of the actual concept. It's also very short - one sentence. First of all, you need to expand it. Go onto Wikipedia and look at the page about your favourite movie, and see what they usually say in the introduction. Then include that sort of stuff in yours. Of course, make it funny, and fit it into the rather clever concept. Plot: This is the only main section of the article, so therefore contains most of the humor. You've got a good plot, but all you've done is state what happens. Build up each paragraph and say as much as you can say, but only if it doesn't get boring. Also, you need to finish the plot with the ending. What happened after Satan? The spoiler box is good. Infobox: Good. Nothing really needs to be changed here. Cast: Good. Kind of. And that's it? Nothing on the characters, production origins, development, filming or animating, marketing, release, critical reception, awards, sequals... There is much, much more you can do with this, not counting expanding the sections you already have. Once again, I urge you to check out Wikipedia articles about movies and see all the things they say. The reason that there is not much humor in this article is because there is not enough content to put it in. Also, before I finish this section, I highly recommend you visit HTBFANJS, which details all the ways you can be funnier and less drearily stupid (not that I'm saying your article is like that).
Concept:	5	Good concept, but you haven’t used it to it’s potential. As I said in the humor section, you have to build on this article, flesh out all your ideas.
Prose and formatting:	3	There a lot of spelling mistakes here and they really put down the quality of the article. Once you have expanded the article I advise you to put the {{Proofread}} tag on your article and the proofreading users will be more then happy to fix it up for you. In the way of formatting, your article doesn’t look very nice. This should change, however, if you lengthen your article. Not only will you be able to evenly space out your table, picture and infobox but will be able to add more pictures as well. At the moment it’s quite cramped.
Images:	2	Only two images. The first is appropriate with the infobox so it doesn’t need to be funny. However your second image is rather random. I think you should add a better caption – “The man in the background is a complex and strange character and is still not fully understood.” Or something like that, anyway. One you have expanded your article feel free to add more pictures. If you need something photoshopped then I always recommend Uncyclopedia:RadicalX's Corner where there are heaps of good photoshoppers who will make images that you need. Get a picture of Gerald and Trevor, the circus, the devil bargaining with them, so forth... anything to make the article look better and greatly improve it's quality.
Miscellaneous:	3.5	Averaged your score in my head, and I think I got it right too.
Final Score:	17.5	This is a good idea and has the base of some good humor, but is still too short to have any great value. If you build it up (and use some, or all, of my suggestions) it will certainly improve. I hoped that helped.
Reviewer:	--Some Idiot 09:53, July 28, 2010 (UTC)