Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Playground
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| Humour: | 5 | Not overly funny. The only parts that might have been funny were the few taunts throughout the article, and me thinking of kids getting hurt. And only one of those two things is funny.... I think you've got to explain the games and equipment a little, but don't be so "factual", and then keep going with the kids tattling and taunting each other. |
| Concept: | 7.5 | An article on Playgrounds is definitely a welcome addition to Uncyclopedia, but as it stands now still needs a lot of refining. I think you've got the right idea, it just needs to be expanded upon. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | The article is readable but at times I got a little confused. There is definitely some proofreading needed here; just add {{Template:Proofread}} to your article, and somebody will come along and fix the basic spelling and grammar mistakes. Ignoring the mistakes, the tone still sounds a little immature to me, but maybe that's what you're going for here as it IS about playgrounds. I'm not going to lie, I have absolutely no idea what some of the games were (Hot Magma, What) so maybe I'm missing a joke here, but it would be better to have games that everyone knows for sure. And then make them funnier. And please add links to your article. |
| Images: | 2 | Absolutely needs images. I'm only giving you marks here to boost the final score a little. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | This is a generous average of the other marks. Oh, and read UN:HTBFANJS and UN:BGBU |
| Final Score: | 26.5 | This article needs links!!! Maybe I spend too much time reading wiki articles, but the whole thing seems boring without any links in it. There is also a lot of truth in most of this article (location, games, finding out who's "it") which someone could probably find in Wikipedia. The only real difference is that you've sort of written it in more of a humourous tone, but without being explicitly funny.
Maybe what we need to do here is take the article in a completely different direction, and turn the playground into some sort of battlefield for the kids, or some sort of romantic drama, or something else so off-the-wall that even the admins will like it. After all, we're not after the facts here, we want humour!! |
| Reviewer: |  Spillin DylanTALKEDITS 13:31, Jan 11
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