Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Nutshell

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Nutshell

Hi all, I'm basically after any new ideas to add to my nutshell article and any opinions on the content already there. I'm not so sure I like my opening paragraph, I might change it. Also presentation/structure wise, is there anything I need to add?

Cheers

Jearoon 00:11, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

I hope I remember how to do this... I think we decided that 7 is the average score, so keep that in mind.   Le Cejak • <5:55 May 26, 2009>

Nutshell is being reviewed by CajekHi! Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

Humour:	6	avg of all sections: Introduction (6/10): Lots of cleverness, but this is a tough topic. Where does one go with "nutshells"? Hmm... In the introduction, you link "nut" to two different words. Are you trying to be self-referential here? In that case, you should be really brief. This article, I guess, should be a play on the word "nutshell" and have pretty short sections. 1 Society’s need for information in a nutshell (5/10): Again, cleverness, but not a whole lot of play with the word "nutshell." I think I see what you're doing, you're playing reversi with us. That can work, but you'll have to be really funny to do it. You make fun of people who aren't big readers plus business people, try to think of a third one: people like triads. Um, who else needs information in short bursts? Babies? Dogs? Go crazy! Put computers and flowers in there ("Look, am I on or off right now?" "Look, am I going to get water and sun light or not?") I don't know... 2 Military Uses (9/10): Yes, haha! Totally unexpected and insane. Make the rest of your article like this one, with craziness included. 3 The Squirrel Conspiracy (4/10): yeah, we all saw the squirrel angle coming. I like the idea that squirrels are sending messages to each other, but what do you think they're trying to say? We don't care what the humans think they're saying, so leave that weird Iceland thing out. It was really confusing, that's all I have to say, and you could probably do without this section (your score would go from 6 to 6.5, in case you care) 4 The Pea-nutshell Myth (6/10): lots more cleverness, but it's too much wordplay for my tiny mind to comprehend. Cut down on the cleverness and give us what you gave us in section 2: weirdness in a nutshell.
Concept:	8	The concept, simply an article on the nutshell, is simple and easy for anyone off the street to understand. Where it falls apart is asking where does one go from there? There's not a whole lot to say about the nutshell at first, but you broke that barrier. Your problem may be going way off into weirdsville without taking the reader along with you. Whenever I start writing an article that's too clever, I try to knock it down a few IQ points. A few questions to ask yourself as you're writing: who are you writing to? What's the message of the article? (there was no conclusion, by the way) What is the perspective of the article on the subject?
Prose and formatting:	7	a red link or two, not many pictures, but overall it's okay.
Images:	5	only two pictures: one's a cliche and the other one, while nicely photoshopped, makes no sense to me...
Miscellaneous:	6.5	avg'd via {{pee}}
Final Score:	32.5	I think it could work! Try taking it in new directions and see what works. Think about a unifying theme, like I said in the concept section.
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <5:55 May 26, 2009>