Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Norbit

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Norbit

This article isn't the best, but if improved, it could become a good article.

Idiotic idiot 02:11, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Racist, and not in the funny way. IronLung 04:48, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I could give you a few pointers on this. I'll get to this in a few hours, though if someone else wants to do it, feel free. Saberwolf116 17:35, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	1	Hmm. Well, it's obviously not finished (hence the construction tag), but there are several reasons why this isn't very good. First, it's the bad kind of racist. It's OK to be racist on Uncyclopedia, but you have to be more clever than just writing an article that screams "I HATE NIGGERS". Don't worry about it being offensive- just try to make it funnier. Second, you need to expand- this is much too short for a decent article.
Concept:	2	It would be much funnier if it had to do with the film itself. If you're going to make a parody of a movie, you can't just say the exact opposite of reality (see HTBFANJS). The trick is to make the article similair to the Wikipedia one, but with an unexpected twist. Right now, it looks like you just threw a few random racist jokes together, and the end result is less than pretty. Take some time to develop your style before writing your article.
Prose and formatting:	4	Your Prose is to rattle off a bunch of Black stereotypes. You mainly avoid spelling errors, so I suppose that's OK. However, your last section is just a few random statistics, which is really not very funny. Expand on it a bit to make your article look nicer.
Images:	0	No pictures. I don't know what to suggest here other than the basics: a picture of the main characters, maybe a parody of the movie poster, as well as other things that will tie into an article about Norbit well. Right now, your article (as nearly every one does) looks a bit ugly without pictures- if you plan to expand, that should be at the top of your list.
Miscellaneous:	1	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	8	Here's the truth: you've got a short, unfunny, racist stub. I wouldn't nominate this for QVFD, however, because I can see some things that can be done to improve it. First, change your style. You need to make your article recognizable to people that haven't seen the film. Second, you need to expand. In mainspace, you have a week to do that. If you plan on working on this long term, move it to User:Idiotic idiot/Norbit- you'll have all the time you need to make it better. Finally, you need some pictures to tag along with expansion. Like I said above, some pics of the main characters will go with your article well. Bottom Line: Short and unfunny, but can be salvaged into something worthwhile. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 20:03, 14 May 2009 (UTC)