Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Marklar

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Marklar

blarg4 15:15, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	2.5	Well, here's the problem: redundancy, in all of it's glory, really isn't that funny. I know you were trying to make this into a joke about aliens or something (more on that below) but even if a few find it funny, it has a very limited appeal. From what I can gather about the images, I take it the Marklar are some sort of alien. There are a lot of different ways you can go with this, such as presenting the Marklars as a differennt species interacting with humans, or something along the lines of that. Right now, though, it gets kind of old, and is kind of a pain to read. A good idea, to improve your article a little bit, would be to get rid of Oscar Wilde- Wilde is a cliche, so avoid at all costs.
Concept:	3	Judging by the hits i've gotten on Google, I presume this has something to do with South Park. The problem with these kind of jokes is that they are more "had to be there" kind of jokes, as not everyone watches South Park, so only a certain amount of people would find this funny. I'd recommend giving this a more broad appeal to a wider group of people-for example, go out of your way to briefly explain what a Marklar is, and roll in the jokes from there. This would have to go with the changing of your concept- perhaps you could write the article is a sort of style where the subject being written about is redundant, but the writing itself isn't. For example: The Marklars are a race of aliens who live on the planet Yora. There government consists of a President, a Head of State, a Chief Executive, and a Commander in Chief at the head. This implies that the Marklars are a very redundant race, without the writing itself being redundant.
Prose and formatting:	3	Hmm...how to put this...well, I have to give you negative scores on the prose, as you basically repeat the same word over and over again- the same advice I game in the concept section applies here. However, your formatting can be corrected- first, you have several red links, so i'd recommend you check over your article to get rid of those. Second, at the end, you have an unfunny list with the same joke, so i'd recommend taking that out altogether. Finally, due to the length of your article (very short), your images look kind of bundled together- expand your sections while keeping the same number of images, so they look more spread out and neat.
Images:	7	The saing grace of the article. With the images, I could tell exactly what the Marklars were. When changing your concept, keep the images as a representative of what exactly you want your article to be about. No advice to offer here, other than simply keep them as they are, because they work very well.
Miscellaneous:	2.5	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	18	Well, the problem is that redundancy is a very stale joke, and turns people off after the first few opening sentences. The best things you can do for your article right now is to change the concept altogether- like I said, make the Marklars sound like a redundant race without writing redundantly. Expand your sections so that the number of images is more in line with the amount of text, and remove the red links and list. I think you could go places with this article, but right now it's just painful to read. Bottom Line: A stale joke; change your concept so it's more original, and expand your article a bit so it's not a stub. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 19:19, 31 May 2009 (UTC)