Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Jessica Rabbit
Jessica Rabbit[edit source]
| Humour: | 3 | A bit of a one-note article this. Jessica, it seems, has large breasts. Articles can work with one central joke (see Walls), but they need to be better worked than this, and have something else to work around the central joke. Oh, and the penis bits in the first section are not good either. |
| Concept: | 3 | This feels like it needs a more coherent central idea than it currently has, to be honest. I'm sure there are good ways to approach a Jessica Rabbit story, but this feels flat. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | It's not badly written, and the formatting is fine. There just needs to be more to it. |
| Images: | 0 | There aren't any. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3 | Er. I hate the misc box. |
| Final Score: | 15 | I didn't laugh at this particularly, but it's not too badly written. You need to add in a few more ideas and play with them a bit. |
| Reviewer: | --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 12:30, 10 October 2007 (UTC) | |
OK, I always try to give some suggestions for improvements, but I'm struggling a bit here. Maybe you could have a sly bit of fun with a character in ostensibly kids' cartoons being drawn so voluptuous? You know, artist brings design along to meeting (or if you want to persist with the "real person" angle, she goes to interview), and female objections about her suitability are countered by thinly veiled male drooling? ("What makes you think a character of these, er, proportions is suitable for young viewers?" "Well, they say the best cartoons have something for the adults that goes over the children's heads, and those would go over the heads of a few kids - they could use them as a bus shelter!") It's difficult to take such an approach without it getting clichéd, but it could be worth a try.
There's also the issue of the inter-species relationship with Roger to address, although preferably without too many bestiality references! And it is possibly worth persevering with the thread that the main reason for her fame is her marriage. You may even expand that as well, and combine it with the above - "I always thought she would be known primarily for one thing that has nothing to do with her acting ability, but I thought it would be her cleavage, not marrying an accident prone cartoon rabbit with a speech impediment", "I thought she's be known for having big tits, not being married to one" etc etc. Again, not great examples, but hopefully at least food for thought.
They're maybe not great suggestions, but I'm trying to show you that you could take this in different directions. Have fun with it! Read HTBFANJS (again?) - it always helps!
As ever, this is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 12:30, 10 October 2007 (UTC)
--Crablogger 05:31, 17 September 2007 (UTC)