Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Humanato
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Humanato[edit source]
Humanato is my first article on Uncyclopedia -- on any wiki, actually -- and I thought it would be nice with some input. I myself naturally like my article, but I am willing to admit that it may not be perfect. Anyway, I'll let you guys do the judging. Thanks. --Schabeindividuum 20:38, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
Humour: | 4.5 | It's an original idea, but I see two main problems here: first, you get a bit too serious at several points in the article. The "muppetshow" section dealth with copyrights and such, and that sort of thing isn't really funny. I'd recommend looking over this and toning down your language a bit, as too make it seem more like a parody. Second, you get very random throughout the article- I was confused as to what a humanto actually is (more about that in concept). I suggest reading HTBFANJS- quotes from famous people at random are a very old concept, and it's better to not use quotes at all. Your article could be hilarious, but it is weighed down by too many quotes and randomness. To start, i'd recommend scratching the Gordon Brown speech- that really has nothing to do with the article. After that, remove all quotes- those 2 things alone could make your article much better. |
Concept: | 5 | Well, I think the main problem with your concept is that it's a pretty narrow subject- mainly because this isn't a parody of anything, it's just a fictional creature. I take it this is a play on words with "human", "potato", and "tomanto". If you want to give something like this human features, you have to be careful what you say- for example, you mention that humantos can't speak- then why were they ordering something in a DVD store? I didn't know if humanto was an animal or sentitent- you blur the lines much too often. When writing about this, you need to make it 100% clear what a humanto is before writing a fictional history and such- when you're making something up completely, people will have no idea what you're parodying unless you explain to them what it is. Also, when you're writing, remember to stay focused on the humantos- no outside references to other people/things unless they relate to the humanto. |
Prose and formatting: | 4 | Pretty rough. I think the main problem here is your placement of images. Your first image looks out of place in the intro, as the intro is way too small compared to the image- i'd recommend scaling it down and expanding the intro. Your second image overlaps into two sections, so I think you should reduce the size of it and place it in the "Body composition" subsection. Your third image is also too big, so reduce that one and pop it on the right side. The rest of your images are pretty much the same- to big for their text, so scale them down a bit. You also have persistent red links throughout the article, so i'd recommend combing through the article to get rid of them. |
Images: | 5.5 | They're OK, but like i've said above, they're very random. What does Final Fantast and the Muppets have to do with humanto? You should take those out and replace them with something more on topic, such as a group of humantos together or something like that. The picture of the humantos themselves is a little odd looking- I think they would look better if they weren't made out of clay, as they look rather uneven. Your "anatomy" picture is more random- potatoes and tomatoes don't have much to do with the humanto itself, so you should probably just get rid of that one. |
Miscellaneous: | 4.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
Final Score: | 23.5 | You've got a unique concept somewhere in there, but you get much, much to random. I think you should try reading HTBFANJS, it's a very helpful guide and will give you an idea of where to stick your jokes. I'd recommend rewriting this to eliminate quotes and references to unrelated things. As a final touch, get rid of the definition- stuff like that belongs in Undictionary.
Bottom Line: Much too random; you need to adjust it so that your article is more about your title. Good luck! =) |
Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 01:52, 30 May 2009 (UTC) |
Thanks for the review! I had a hunch it was too random, but I didn't really know what to do about it. --Schabeindividuum 08:19, 30 May 2009 (UTC)