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I'm not going to score anything, because I don't see how that would be helpful.
- Introduction: I almost thought you should probably rename ("move") this article. I was thinking maybe "HowTo:Be a parent"? That wouldn't work because this is specifically about babies, so I scrapped that idea. Okay, you set up the notion of the article pretty well. Not really a "giggle-grabber" yet, because, this is kind of a realistic reaction. I'm not a dad or anything, but yeah. So, realistic, gotcha.
- The baby: Okay, overused image of a baby giving us the finger: Find an interesting picture or, maybe, you don't need one. Interesting pictures of babies? Oh man, this article is going to have problems in that area. This section was kind of all over the place. It started with cuteness, then to "when its awake" (I think I get it: when its asleep it's cute), then screaming when a stranger picks them up. You've got three or four ideas here, maybe you could make them separate sections?
- Maintenance: But seriously, ask your uncyc daddy about overused images. Specifically about babies flipping off the reader. Well, yeah, I guess the point is that babies are a lot of work. Well... yeah. It's again too realistic to be funny. You're going to have to go way overboard on this one: "Babies are made specifically for people who like to work. Work, work, work, that's all they are. I remember one time this meth addict had a baby, but his schedule was a little too full of other things, and then there was a microwave involved... needless to say, his schedule opened up for a short time. You'll wish you had a microwave handy when you have to buy all the clothes for this thing, and waste all your time caring for it. ...because you'll need to warm a lot of hotpockets for those late nights! Calm down, Mr. Falwell! Sheesh, like what that guy did was so terrible: Oh, boo hoo!" ...Uh, yeah, anyway, go way overboard to make this funny. Believe it or not, there's an audience for baby jokes.
- Feeding: Well, again, this is realistic. You really should expect being frustrated, and in fact, my child development teacher basically talked like this (although her perspective was more optimistic). I really think you need to go overboard on how hard it is to take care of a baby. Make it seem impossible. You could say "The food needs to be warmed to EXACTLY 74 degrees feirenheit or the baby will DI- BE SAD." something like that, I don't know. You seem to be up on this kind of stuff.
- Sleep: Pretty short section. Yeah, babies don't sleep, and neither will you. Expect to not have sex while you have a baby. This is realistic, again.
- Lullabies: Not sure about this section. Pretty short.
- On your back with the baby on your tummy: Cute, but I'm not sure how you would make this concept funny.
- The nasty business: Yes, this section was good. Instead of going overboard, you compare it to paris hilton, then you talk about when you can legally kick it out of the house. Maybe this is your best angle: compare parenting to other things. Making humorous observations has never been my forté, though.
- Your baby's Illness: Yeah, it's okay. I don't know what to add, here. It's not hilarious, mind you, because again, you aren't taking that extra step. Either go overboard (like I did) or make your own humorous observations (more difficult, but more your style, maybe).
- Hey, how about me?: Wow, is that how you're going to end this article? Well, okay. Make sure the article is gender-neutral: either mommy OR daddy could be doing this stuff. Um, but yeah, same problem: it's not funny because people actually are this busy.
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