Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hong Xiuquan
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Hong Xiuquan[edit source]
Before reviewing the article it's recommended that you read the Wikipedia article on Hong Xiuquan, otherwise a person might dismiss this as random humor. Minimal effort was used to create the article as the subject matter speaks for itself, really. Most of the information in it is factual, I basically took the Wikipedia article and rewrote it in a less encyclopedic tone. This is actually one of my more promising articles, so I hope this will fair better than my other articles. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Serotonin deficient (talk • contribs)
| Humour: | 7.5 | Feels almost like a parody of Jesus' story... sorry if it isn't, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Being either 1. a westerner or 2. not big on deities/religion, it appeals to me in that it doesn't exclude those not in the know. It explains the truth of the story well and the in-between fiction keeps it funny throughout. A slight gripe with the reader (not necessarily myself) could be that the article feels a little bit factual. I know how hard it is to write an article on someone famous or someone who's a deity without dragging the article into the deepest circles of Hades (the ones not mentioned in the bible, like "Randumb" and "Uncyclo-Cliché") but maybe the image caption thing (see my comment on Images) would help with sealing the deal. 'Cos Hades also deals with great articles. Is it not written, "The Devil has the best |
| Concept: | 9 | The idea of a deity-type person is certainly not an original idea but it seems to me that the idea of the article is to entertain and inform the reader, to show the reader the story of Hong Xiuquan while at the same time giving them a few laughs. Good job! |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | From "The Missionary" downwards there's nothing but text (see also the comment below in Images) and, while the prose is pretty much flawless the formatting lacks a certain... panache. However, this would probably all be fixed if you stick in one (or maybe two?) more pictures and mould your article around those (see below comment). What I said about Humour is also relevant: One last point, there are one or two spelling/grammar mistakes (I immediately noticed yew said "brother of Jesus, who rebellioned" when it's "rebelled") but hey, those are minor l'il things that could be fixed at the hit of a button. |
| Images: | 6 | A relevant picture, no doubt, but I think that yew should either change the caption under it to make it relevant to the article or add extra info into the article to make the caption relevant. One (or two) extra picture(s), maybe below the "The Kingdom of Heavenly Peace" headline would be welcome, as it's got quite alot of text and it would be nice for the reader to be visually entertained as well as literarily ^_^ |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | Average of your other scores using Template:Pee ({{Pee|7.5|9|7.5|6}}). Also, I think it's a nice touch that your article uses Jesus in a relevant way, unlike alot of articles which basically randomly drone on, namedropping deities, Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris, etc. |
| Final Score: | 37.5 | Definitely a good article. Yew didn't say much about the aims of the article but when I read it I found it explains its own idea; certainly from the impression the article has given it's reached those goals. With those relatively minor changes made it can be considered a great, if not excellent article. |
| Reviewer: | ~Fag x FS 11:50, 13 December 2007 (UTC) | |