Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Galileo

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Galileo

I rewrited this article. Enjoy it!--Pizza Spaghetti Mafia! 17:35, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

The rewriterer requested I reviewer this, so will doer so. But it might take me longer than 24 hours as I've got some stargazing to do. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:50, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Youer arer stragazinger? Whyer arer youer doinger thater? Pup

What's stragazinger? Is it linked with the article or not?--Pizza Spaghetti Mafia! 14:58, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

That's just Puppy making fun of my misspellings-done-on-purpose. Again, I know that usually you don't post you're reviewing an article unless you'll have it done within 24 hours, but I'm reviewing this by request. I should have it in 36 hours, maybe signficantly less. Sorry for the wait. And of course anyone else is free to do their own review. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:17, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Can someone review this article, pliiiiiis?????--Pizza Spaghetti Mafia! 20:10, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Why, do you mind if I do this one? Pup

I wouldn't mind except I'm working on it now. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:48, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

Introduction

• I like to being my reviews by tell you about me so you'll know how unqualified I am. I'm currently nominated for RotM so somebody thinks I don't totally suck. I'm not an expert on Galileo but am pretty knowledgeable. But my opinion is just that, my opinion.

• I will say right now that my score for this article will be low for one primary reason: I couldn't understand it, as explained below.

• As I know you're rewritting an already existing article, I wonder if either English is not your original language, or was not the original language of those who wrote before you. Much of this sounds like a "Babel fish" or computer translation of an article written in another language. A great deal of the sentence construction is not at all typical of a native English speaker. I believe you said you spoke Italian, and if so you may be wording many of your sentences as if you were directly translating Italian grammar to English grammar. Or this could be leftover from previous versions. Unfortunately, many of the sentences have words in an order and form that makes it difficult for me to determine what's meant. Frankly, scoring this at all probably won't be very helpful to you; it's hard to score what you can't understand. I won't go through all examples of what I'm talking about, but will give a few examples.

Concept:	5	I think the concept is to present a twisted version of the real Galileo, based on real science and history, but can't be certain, so this score is something of an assumption.
Prose and Formatting:	2	It looks like a significant amount of work went into the writing in whatever language it may have been from originally, or in the work of someone attempting to write in standard English prose. If I knew the original language and could figure out how to interpret it, this score could be much higher. I put Prose and Formatting and Humour descriptions together so I don't repeat myself, but do score them separately. .Quotes "It's an oddity of Uncyclopedia that lots of articles start with lots of quotes, but almost none of these ever get featured. If you look at most articles on this site, it will teach you how admins and featured writers do not want articles written. It's weird but true. Personally, I'd cut the quotes. Your introduction The article says Galileo was "a physicist, a philosopher, an astronomer, a mathematician, a scientist, a comic actor, a mime, a plumber, a mail carrier" so, as a reader, I'll be expecting all that in this article. Sorry, but I didn't find the shoe lacing bit funny. It seems too trivial with everything else. "Galileo had to be...because "we cannot walk down to head". Pereppeppeppe!"--I don't know what this section means. Life etc. "It was born in Pisa in 1564 from his father and from her mother, strangely. His father...."--is Galileo a he or an it? Unless you have something really funny, I stick with he, and would cut "strangely." "man of strong imagination with the names...pissing in a glass of water was gotten water-pee....up to the fifteen year-old age."--much of this I'm not sure what the article is saying, so really don't know how to comment on it. I had this problem throughout, where I was often guessing what was meant. But I'll try to comment on what I can. The article seems to cover many aspects of Galileo's life, which I think it good. Some people try to make an article out of random stuff, like, "Say, wouldn't it be funny to say Galileo was a gay black female basketball player from Mars?" But this does deal with scientific thought at the time, and different models of the universe. It also talks about the controversies with the church. I would like to see something about Artistotle. It's an irony that the church largely reject Galileo and related science not because it seemed to disagree with the Bible, but because it seened to disagree with Aristotle, who of course wasn't Christian or even Jewish. The article talks about the spyglass and how it could be used to spy on the neighbors, which is fine. If I recall correctly, though, the telescope existed shortly beforer 1600, although some important observations were made about 1609 (it might have been the moons of Jupiter; I don't remember and am not looking it up right now). That's a trivial point, of course. I don't think the automobile references work--unless there's a really good reason to have Galileo driving a car, something that it very tied to article, I'd cut these. I'd also cut the Hitler references.
Humo(u)r:	2	Again, it's hard to laugh at what you can't understand.
Images:	7	I really like the picture of Galilieo wearing the sun glasses. The rest I thought were OK, but again it was hard to see how they fit with the text when I had a lot of trouble understanding it.
Miscellaneous:	4	Average of above.
Final Score:	20	Again, I don't know if this review will be helpful or not, and the scores are rather meaningless. Please let me know if you can tell me what the language issue is. I had a hard time understanding it, so can't really give an accurate score on this.
Reviewer:	King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:03, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

I don't speak well inglisch, perppeppeppe!--Pizza Spaghetti Mafia! 10:43, November 8, 2009 (UTC)