Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Beslan Circus

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Beslan Circus[edit source]

An editor thought that the best way to improve Beslan Circus and get it out of the "fix up" template would be to submit it to a Pee Review, so other editors can help indicate how to improve it.

Vzvartnots 16:27, October 13, 2011 (UTC)

I'll give it a go. I do have a busy schedule, but I think I'll be able to get this done by tomorrow or so.--Iwillkillyou.gif 333.gif TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:34, October 14, 2011 (UTC)
I manage to get half of it done, and since I'm not busy anymore, I should have it done by today.--Iwillkillyou.gif 333.gif TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 19:10, October 15, 2011 (UTC)
Humour: 6 I do like the humor you're trying to use here. the main problem with the humor is that the jokes could be expanded a little more. They just seem a bit rushed to me. You should look up the subject a little more and add some addition details to the paragraphs. Don't be afraid to go into depth with the subject. The more info you have, the better the outcome of the article.
Concept: 7 I actually like what I read. While I'm not really a big fan of articles joking about tragic events, this one wasn't too bad. The main problem with the article is that it falls in the short category. A good idea is that you can  make it seem like the Belsan school hostage crisis didn't happen as everybody though it did, that it wasn't a terrorist act but simply a circus act that went too far. Concept-wise, it's pretty good.
Prose and formatting: 8 Spelling and grammar seem fine, though I would have it go through I would have it proofread just to be sure. You can do this by adding a proofread template on your article and someone will come and fix the mistakes for you.
Images: 6 While the pictures do go with the article, I think since that your parodying this as a circus, you should have the images more circus themed. This can be done by requesting an image from RadicalX's Corner. Just an request and someone will make that image happen. Or if you got experience with Photoshop, you can make them yourself.
Miscellaneous: 6.8 Average Score
Final Score: 33.8 Not bad, it just needs some expansion and it should be good to go. Cheers!
Reviewer: --Iwillkillyou.gif 333.gif TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:34, October 16, 2011 (UTC)