Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bear in the Big Blue House
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Bear in the Big Blue House[edit source]
Ilovecheeseandsausage (talk) 14:47, May 19, 2012 (UTC)
Ilovecheeseandsausage (talk) 14:47, May 19, 2012 (UTC)
Humour: | 1 | Much of the humor here is dark humor. Dark humor can work quite well at times, but it has to be executed properly. And to be honest dark humor does not really fit with Bear and the Big Blue House. A little dark humor may workout. You can say that "Bear is always happy, but that's because he suppresses the terrifying memories of the Great War." That just and example. The humor is posed in a matter of fact style. Nothing wrong with that, but try to cut down on some of it.
Also, don't rely on saying things like: he's does cocaine" or "he's a pedophile" or "he eats children" because that kind of humor can turn people away. And be creative. Don't just say "This man from London eat sugar and goes bonkers." Be a little more witty. "The man from London tends to go a little hyper after high consumptions of sugar." See how much better that sounds? |
Concept: | 1 | I must say I was disappointed on how the article was executed. Being a BITBBH fan myself (hell I watched it everyday as a kid), I was eager to read this. When I read the first two paragraphs I completely lost my eagerness. But enough about that. You see, the reason why this section has a low score is due to the way you executed the concept. While I don't mind people tweaking the characters a bit, you really overdone it. Much of the article has little to do with the show other than the pictures and the character names. Long story short, you rely on nonsense humor. That may work for Encyclopedia Dramatica, but here we have higher higher standards. We prefer the truth over outright nonsense. |
Prose and formatting: | 5 | Spelling is not that bad. But the format needs work. Some sentences could be combined together. But the biggest problem is the fact that 80% of the article is one big list. Here on modern day Uncyclopedia, list are a taboo unless they're done properly. But having a big list that takes up a big portion of the article is a big no no. It just looks messy. Using paragraghs are much better, as it looks more professional and is pleasing to the eye. And if you must use a list, keep it to a minimal size. |
Images: | 7 | The images weren't that bad, but the caption need work. What I said above should also apply to captions. |
Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | Average Score. |
Final Score: | 17.5 | In my opinion I really think you should try to redo the article because right now it's not in a good condition. It will take time but it's worth it. Cheers! |
Reviewer: | --- TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 22:50, May 31, 2012 (UTC) |