Uncyclopedia:Marshals Service/Nacky's Office
Hello, this is my office. It has a desk and a chair. It seems okay. I was previously in another room in this building, but they moved me to here. It's much bigger than the janitor's closet but now I don't know where the chemicals are. I still have my mop. I wasn't the janitor here. Cleaning Lady. Maybe. In a sense. At random. But only when a room was so messy and cluttered have I went in there and got Auri Katariina on its ass.
This place is a giant collection of movie theaters. It's all about entertainment even if there's zero content to learn from or lack of useful information. It's here to juggle clowns. Huff orcs. And stop the reptilians from reproducing. That's its main function. At least from what the directory says. There are alien statues in the lobby. I won't dust them. I am not going near that stuff. I had a bad experience once.
I was dusting some statues and pruning the hedges when they came to life. I had the pruning shears and took those hedges down a notch or two, but the statues had to be dealt with so, luckily I had some C4. Nevermind where I got it. There are others here who have plutonium, so it's not all that uncommon to have it around. One has to know how to survive. On most days I play it by ear. I've collected some shiny things. I have been able to stay under the radar to escape the zombies. Sometimes they find me. I keep a low hum and have been able to blend in with the static. This place is a bastion of human ingenuity disguised as an antique truck.