Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/June 5

Rounded head, stretched tail, as white as silk, they are alive, yet they hold the most magical history humankind could ever find. Sperm usually come in groups of two or three million sperm cells. They support each other, all the while fighting their way to individualism to reach the so-called egg cell. Sperms are like hippies: they all stink, all of them are the same, but we can't just have enough of them.

Most sperm cells can live up to five days, although this lifespan may vary greatly. Some people, usually aged 15 to 22 have sperm cells aged only a day, sometimes two, and when these sperms die, they need to "ejaculate" them out, literally. Others, however, can hold their sperm up to two weeks, while old people can hold theirs up to a year, possibly two. This data may seem interesting and convincing, but it does not represent the demographics of people who play World Of Warcraft and Second Life.

During the production and delivery, until penetration, a sperm cell will explore many different worlds that no one could ever possibly venture to. Different colours, different atmospheres, different tastes and different pressures; they will feel all of that. A chronicle of a sperm cell. It is so cool that the word "story" was replaced by "chronicle". (Full article...)